Page 42 of Soldier, Tailor, Spy
“Okay.” Bexley sat beside Declan and tickled his belly.
“If you need me, I’ll be in the other room.” When Fawn stood, Ginger pressed a kiss to the crown of her daughter’s head. “Be good for Bexley.”
“I will, mommy,” Fawn said. “Both of us will.”
“That’s my girl.”
Ginger started for her room, her mind a jumbled mess of indecision and disgust. Not for the first time, she wondered if Jake hadn’t been watching over them. If he hadn’t been working for the security service dedicated to the gated community, would she still be alive? If it hadn’t been Mr. Yamamoto and Kiyoshi, would it have been someone else? No, she wasn’t suicidal, however, it seemed, to her at least, Jake saving them started the whole machination of whatever was going on with his team. In her estimate, if she hadn’t been there, married Oscar, they’d be right as rain.
You should leave. Jake doesn’t deserve this. He never signed up for this.No, he didn’t. The only connection he had to her was Fawn. They could still co-parent. Jake didn’t deserve to see the destruction of her life at the hands of a manipulator. He didn’t need the added stress of Oscar’s bullshit. Meeting with Ethan solidified one thing. She couldn’t trust her instincts anymore and one day, Jake wouldn’t be there to save her life.
Instead of going for a shower, she went to her closet and pulled out the bags she’d used to pack hers and the kids’ clothes for their trip to the base. She hadn’t had much time to grab anything, but what she had was enough for a few days. With the money Mr. Yamamoto gave her, she could buy a house in a new state somewhere far away and forget about her past transgressions.
Starting over was the best thing she could do.
Period.
As she zipped up one bag, the bedroom door opened, and Jake cleared his throat. She glanced over at him, heat filling her cheeks as though she’d been caught doing something bad. Considering the conversation they had with Ethan, she already had—she was a polygamist or an adulteress. “I’m leaving Jake.” She didn’t give him a chance to say anything. “It’s for the best.”
He closed the door, locking it behind him, before closing the distance between them. “Now wait a damn minute, Gingersnap. Why do you think leaving is going to make this situation better?”
“Because, without me here, you can concentrate on what’s happening to the team. Hell, I bet if I left, all the problems would go away,” she said, even though to her ears, her logic was horribly flawed.
“If that isn’t the stupidest fucking shit I’ve ever heard,” Jake muttered. “None of this has anything to do with you, Ginger. I thought we discussed this.”
“We did. Until Ethan showed up at our door, Jake.” She let out an exasperated breath. “He changed everything!”
“He changed shit, Ginger.” Jake fisted his hands at his side. “You were both played. I get how upset you are, but running will only put you and the kids in danger.”
“Then I’ll leave them here with you. They’d be better off, anyway.” She shrugged, going back to the closet to gather more of her things.
“The fuck you just say?” Fury lashed through his words, cutting through her fear and self-loathing. “Stop being an obstinate bitch.”
Red rage colored her vision as she threw the clothes into the waiting bag, then slapped Jake across the face hard. How dare he talk to her like that? How dare he say anything to her after everything she’d been through and felt like she was continuing to go through? “Fuck you, Jake. Get out. Get out and don’t you dare come back?” How she could keep her tone even and the wobble out of her voice, she’d never know. “I fucking hate you.”
“Oh yeah?” She’d backed him up to the door, pinning them there. “The only thing you hate right now is yourself because you were put into a fucked up situationnotof your making.”
“I said you need to leave,” she hissed.
“Or what, Ginger? You’ll divorce me?” he prodded. “We’re already divorced, and I’m tired of watching you suffer becauseIwas the asshole, not you!”
“Shut the fuck up, Jake.” She turned away from him, crossing her arms. “Just shut the fuck up.”
He spun her around. “I will not.” Jake grabbed her chin, not hurting her, more like getting her attention. “Listen to me, Ginger. You may cry and be hurt and angry. Break shit, cuss at me, and slap me again if it makes you feel better, but you arenotrunning away like a scalded fucking dog. Got it?”
“Jake,” she said, biting her bottom lip to hold back the tremble. “Go away. I hate you so much. I can’t stand looking at you.”
“Liar.” He tipped her chin up, his brown eyes softening, exposing his love for her. “You could never fib very well when you were with me.” He leaned in, brushing his lips over hers. “I might be a son of a bitch taking advantage of this moment, but I don’t give a fuck.” He kissed her again, this time devouring her.
Ginger gasped. “What are you doing?”
“Taking back what’s mine.” This time, Jake lifted her into his arms and carried her over to the bed. “Don’t worry, Bexley took the kids for a little while.” He covered her, rocking against her as he pushed his hand under her shirt. “Let me help you erase the terrible memories. Let me take away the pain.”
“Jake, we shouldn’t,” she whispered. “I don’t want to give Fawn any false hope.”
“She doesn’t have to know. Not yet anyway.” He stared down at her. “I never stopped loving you, Ginger.”
“You can’t be serious,” she murmured. “Jake, it’s been seven years. Are you saying in seven years you never had sex or went on dates?”
