Page 23 of Soldier, Tailor, Spy

“I guess excited for me?” she replied. “Aren’t they all? I was in so much shock from it, I didn’t even question the logistics of how or why or anything.”

“Now?”

She exhaled. “Now, I feel like I am missing something important from that day. Either something I don’t want to remember or something I haven’t thought of.”

“I am going to give you two scenarios I am considering, and a third I can’t verify,” Rae started. “One is out of the realm because, like you said, you would have known. The second is a hole or holes in the condom. The third, which is more damning for the doctor’s office and could explain the abrupt departure but can’t be confirmed until I look at your chart.”

Ginger straightened her shoulders. “I knew it.” She shook her head in belief and disbelief at the same time. “It’s not the first scenario. I would have felt his cum inside of me and seen the evidence. The second sound plausible, only minute amounts would have gotten out and the third... I need to know what you’re thinking.”

“Is it possible you’ve been taking placebos since your last appointment before conceiving Declan?” Rae arched a brow. “The problem with this question is that I can’t prove it. You had control of your pills, you got them from a pharmacist. You would have known if someone tampered with your supply.”

Ginger’s stomach drop. She could feel the color draining from her face as sweat gathered at the back of her neck and her upper lip. “No. I received about a six-month supply from the doctor when I went. He said they were new and the rep for the pharmaceutical company brought them in for patients to try. When I opened the pack the first time, I noticed the estrogen pills were a different color, yellow, anyway I asked if that was right and was assured it was. With their confirmation, I thought nothing of it.”

“Okay,” Rae said, sitting back. “You’ve given me several directions to go in. Now, the other reason I want to do a complete physical on you is to make sure your reproductive health is safe and if there is anything wrong, I can treat it.”

Heat filled Ginger’s cheeks. “My new doctor has done the same. I’m clean. If that’s what you’re worried about.”

“It is,” Rae stated. “I’m glad to hear you’re keeping up after all of this. Let’s get the physical part done, then.”

“Sounds good.” Ginger followed Rae into the attached exam room. “I wasn’t going to say anything.” She knew she should have, but a part of her hadn’t wanted to speak her truths. Unfortunately, when Jake confronted her about Kiyoshi, she knew keeping anything from him was fruitless. She had to be honest, no matter how vulnerable it left her.

“Not surprised. Saying your piece makes it more real. It reveals a part of your life you might not want to exam too closely. It also admits you could be a victim of sexual assault.”

Wait. Had she heard Rae correctly? Sexual assault? Oscar was a lot of things, including a conniving, sniveling, lying son of a bitch, but rape? He raped her? “No. There’s no way. Rae, we were married. I... It just can’t be.”

Rae placed her hand on Ginger’s arm and gave a small squeeze. “Yes, Ginger, it is. It’s non-consensual sex. It’s sex outside of what you and Oscar agreed upon when you got married and every time you had sex. He secretly, somehow, got you pregnant, which if I have been listening to you correctly, you didn’t want and hadn’t wanted for almost twelve years.”

Ginger sat down hard on the exam table/chair and exhaled. “I hate him so much right now.” She wouldn’t cry. Even though those tears burned at the corners of her eyes and her nose. Even though everything inside of her felt as though it was being ripped apart by a million little threads. She didn’t allow herself to grieve anything. She used the rage as fuel, pushing back against the exhaustion. Because that’s what she was, exhausted. She’d been at the base for a little over a week. In that time, the more she learned about Oscar, the more she hated the fact she ever agreed to drinks or dating him, let alone marrying him.

“You’re allowed. You can cry or scream or yell, or break shit.” Rae shrugged, turning away to wash her hands. “You can use the gym here and beat on a bag or run or even, if you don’t want to do anything like that, speak to our psychologist on duty, Dr. Marcus Joiner. He’ll help you most of all.”

She’d thought about it, especially after spewing everything to Jake and now Rae. “I’d like that.” She didn’t hesitate. She could be the bad bitch. The woman who held her head high and said no therapy so she didn’t appear weak, but in the end, the knowledge she gained from Rae would eat away at her soul. It already was.

“Good. I’ll get you his extension and you can call him from your apartment when you’re ready. It might be good if you also bring Fawn to see him, too. She might not hear very well, but I bet you, if she saw anything, she was reading their lips.” Rae began prepping the vials to draw blood. “He was great in the beginning with Bex. In six months, it was like having a whole different person with us.”

“She is pretty unique,” Ginger agreed. “Do you mind me asking what happened to her?”

“Let’s just say the prosthetic she has isn’t because she was sick. Her father was an abusive mother fucker.” Rae cleared her throat. “Sorry for the language. He deserved what he got, though.”

Ginger frowned. She couldn’t imagine what Bexley had been through. “I’m sorry. Poor girl.”

“Don’t be. Mateo and Noah adopted her, along with her little sister Esmerelda, and she has a great family and support system. She’s a full-fledged member of R.O.O.T. and a specialist as well. Talk to her. You’ll see, she’s a good nut.”

“I think I will. Thank you. For, you know, all of this.”

“My pleasure.” Rae snapped on her gloves. “We’ll get through this together.”

An hour and several tests later, Ginger walked back into her small apartment. There on her couch sat Jake. Fawn was beside him, napping while he and Declan were playing. She stared at them, the way Jake grinned tickling her son’s belly, then laughed as Declan squealed, pushed back all the negative emotions coursing through her. Rae was right, they needed to take this one step at a time and find the truth. Only then would she finally be able to let go.

“Hey,” Jake whispered, glancing up at her. “I know you said not to show up unannounced, but I got a call from Bex while I was waiting for you. Fawn wasn’t feeling well, so I relieved her of duties.”

Ginger’s stomach knotted. “What’s wrong? Do we need to call Rae down here?”

Jake shook his head. “If you can believe it, Franks took care of her. Son of a bitch is a good guy, after all. Anyway, he said she has a couple of ear infections, and, well, with her ears...”

He didn’t have to finish his sentence. Ginger understood. “Right. So, antibiotics and lots of rest. No hearing aids for a few days.”

“Bingo.” Jake brought Declan to his shoulder. “I also ordered dinner for us. I wasn’t sure how long you’d be gone or if you’d feel like making them food after everything you’ve gone through with Doc.”

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