Page 105 of Wistful Whispers
He untangles himself from me and sinks into a chair. “Holy fuck.”
“We can get ahead of this.” I kneel in front of him and take his hands in mine. “You needed to know what’s coming.”
His throat bobs as he swallows. “They’ll believe it. Because it looks bad. Because I was stupid. Because I didn’t think about perception. I thought if it was mutual, it couldn’t hurt anyone.”
“Youdidn’thurt anyone,” I say fiercely. “You do need to protect yourself. Face Caldwell. Make peace, if you can. Or at least make a move before he strikes.”
His eyes find mine. “Marcella, are you going to leave me over this?”
“No,” I whisper. “Never.”
He tilts his head. “Do you think I brought it on myself?”
I hesitate. Then nod. “With the women? We both know you were naïve to your power. You may not have asked for it. You also got something out of it so you didn’t stop it right away, either. You’ll have to own your part in this if you want to be a man who earns his second chance. You’ll have to be willing to face and fix the damage.”
He starts to speak but I hold my hand up. “I want to say one more thing. I don’t think I’ve ever taken full accountability for putting you in this position. I pushed you into testifying. I made it about the greater good, about justice without stopping to think about what it would cost you personally. I told myself you were strong enough to handle it, and maybe you are—at the same time, it wasn’t right to force my doggedness on you.”
His eyes stay locked on mine, searching.
“I’m sorry, Seamus.” I squeeze his hand. “I wish I’d protected you better. Not handed you over to a wolf. I may not have meant to use you—doesn’t mean I didn’t. I hate myself for it. If anyone’s going to leave this relationship, it should be you.”
He doesn’t flinch. Doesn’t blink.
Instead, he brings my hand to his mouth and presses a kiss to the inside of my wrist, soft and steady. Like he’s grounding us both.
“No.” The conviction in his voice makes my breath catch. “Marcella. I know who you are. You’re brilliant. Ruthless. Maybe you didn’t stop to think through the fallout. I didn’t either. I said yes to helping. Eyes open.”
Tears prick behind my eyes.
“I know what kind of man I want to be,” he continues. “I want to earn back what’s mine—my career, my integrity—not by pretending I didn’t fuck up. Not by pretending this—us—is some casualty of war.”
I press my lips together, trying to keep from falling apart.
“Our love,” his hand presses over my heart, “is worth every bit of what we’re going through. Even if it’s messy. Even if I have to fight tooth and nail to keep it.”
He exhales, like he’s releasing a truth—or fear—he’s long held. “Caldwell or not, my past would’ve caught up eventually. I’m not stupid—I have three rockstar brothers who’ve been caught up in scandals before. I should’ve known one angry nurse, one rejected orderly—it could’ve all gone sideways. I was arrogant, not naïve. I told myself it was harmless; it was always weird. That’s on me.”
“As for going against Caldwell, I’d still do it all again for Miranda.” He cups my cheek and I lean into it instinctively. “It’s time to live clean. Real. I want to fix what I broke. I want to be the man who loves you without hiding.”
I can’t speak. I just nod as tears spill down my cheeks.
I believe him. I love him. I want the same thing.
Odds are not in our favor, though.
I might lose the only man I’ll ever love.
thirty-two
Seamus
A Few Days Later
It’snearlyninewhenwe pull up to Connor and Ronni’s place.
A waterfront retreat tucked behind evergreens, untouched by noise, judgment, or fallout.
Marcella’s hand is in mine. My stomach’s a wreck.
