“Oh, shit!”
Visual trauma.
Gramps is in boxers and an undershirt.
And not just standing there.
No, no.
The old Casanova has got a woman on his lap.
Wearing nothing but a half-slip and a bra straight out of the 1950s. The thing looks like it could deflect artillery fire.
Arliss slams the door shut so fast I nearly get whiplash.
“Oh my God.”
She stares at me, face blazing red, hands covering her face.
“Gramps has a girlfriend!”
I try. I swear I try to keep it together.
But the chuckle escapes like a guilty dog off-leash.
“Is he having S-E-X?” she whisper-screams.
“Uh, well, I think that’s a safe bet.”
She groans. I kiss her nose.
“But he’s old!”
“He ain’t dead though, Mo Chroí.”
She peeks through her fingers and glares at me, but only for a second before cracking up and leaning against my chest.
“I can’t believe it.”
“You and me both. But hey, game recognizes game.”
From inside, I hear the old man shout.
“Arliss, dear! Come back!”
“We doing this?” I ask.
She exhales. “I suppose we better.”
We walk in, and thank every god ever worshipped, they’re dressed now.
Sort of.
Gramps is in a robe. The girlfriend—Mrs. Stevens, apparently—is in a floral dress that still looks suspiciously like a nightgown.
She’s in the kitchen now, clinking teacups like nothing happened.
“Arliss, you remember Melody, er, Mrs. Stevens.”