Reality is a cold-eyed motherfucker.

Waking up with my fully sated, thoroughly wrecked, and gloriously naked mate curled in my arms should’ve been the best damn morning of my life.

It would’ve been, too.

If it hadn’t been for the small detail of my front door getting blown open by a tiny, unhinged Bear cub.

I was deep in the kind of sleep that only comes after mind-blowing sex and the emotional whiplash of finding your fated mate, when the sound of complete and utter destruction shattered the peace like a damn bomb went off.

Wood splintering.

Something crashing.

A very distinct bleating.

Arliss stirred, blinking sleepily and looking adorable as hell with her hair all over the place and my shirt hanging off one shoulder.

“What the hell was that?” she mumbled, already halfway out of bed before I could stop her.

“Hang on. Wait a sec, Arliss, just let me?—”

Too late.

She was gone, barreling toward the stairs like a curious little woodland creature investigating a horror movie noise.

And fuck me if that wasn’t hot.

I grabbed my pants and followed, barefoot and bleary-eyed, only to hear something I never want to hear.

“AGHHHHH!”

Her scream damn near shattered every piece of glass in my cabin.

I winced, hand going up to my ear as I hit the bottom of the stairs, and immediately understood why she was screaming.

Rosie Posie, the aforementioned Bear cub menace, had broken into my house with all the chaotic energy of a sugar-high toddler.

And she didn’t come alone.

Oh no.

She brought a fucking entourage.

Three goats, one of which had a bell tied to its neck that jingled every time it head-butted my coffee table.

Two ducks, already waddling through the kitchen like they paid rent.

And following them like a one-bear wrecking ball of doom was Dante, in full Grizzly form, roaring loud enough to rattle my damn windows.

Arliss had gone pale, eyes wide with sheer panic as she stumbled back against the stair railing, clutching my shirt closed around her.

“Oh my God! Kian, call the police! The animals have gone crazy!”

I barely registered the words, too distracted by the fact that while she was clutching the front of my shirt like her life depended on it, her entire ass was out, glowing like a full moon in my living room.

“Fuck,” I muttered, dragging a hand down my face. “Don’t worry about them. Stay here.”

I tossed the throw blanket from the couch in her direction, more for my sanity than her modesty, though let’s be real, that blanket didn’t do shit.