Page 132 of Rules to Love By

“Am I allowed to be mad at him? For being an asshole?”

“Oh yeah. For sure.”

“Good.” Marcus held out a hand. “Gimme.”

Grinning, Tris dropped the key onto his palm.

It was cold and heavy and so small a thing to stand between him and knowing.

“We don’t need to be here for this,” Ozzy stated and took Tris’s hand. “Come on. You used to work here. I need you to start a list for me.”

Tris glanced at Marcus, who shrugged.

“I’m not telling him no,” Marcus said finally. “A list isn’t going to cost anything, right?”

“Probably not.” Tris followed Ozzy out of the room, and their footsteps disappeared down the steps.

The locksmith also took his leave, saying he had work left to do on the back door.

That left Marcus alone in the room with Eli.

“So.” Marcus sat in the chair at the desk, staring at the blotter. “One thing I know, I can’t go back.”

“And until you know, you can’t move forward,” Eli pointed out.

His being right didn’t stop Marcus’s gulp for air or the violent flutter in his chest when he realized his throat was closing again.

“Hey.” Eli moved quickly around the desk until he was within reach to turn Marcus’s chair. Which he did.

“Fuck!” Marcus grabbed at the armrests, the key clattering to the floor when he flailed from the sting of his small cuts. “What—” He gasped again, but it was like all the air had been sucked from the room.

“Shh.” Eli crouched in front of him and took his face in both hands. He slipped a thumb over his lips. “Focus on me.” He waited, his eye contact fierce, until Marcus nodded. “Good.”

A ripple of relief washed through Marcus. The blob of panic pushing his lungs flat receded.

Good.Good. He’d done something good. Something right.

“There it is,” Eli whispered.

Marcus wanted to ask there what was, but Eli’s thumb still held his words in check.

“We’re going to do this one step at a time, okay?”

Marcus nodded, because what else was he going to do?

“You have the key.”

Marcus flickered a look to where he’d last heard it clunk on the hardwood, but he was still caught, unable to look anywhere but at Eli.

“So it’s simple. You open one drawer at a time, and we look through it to see if we can find anything to indicate what she might have wanted, right?”

Again, Marcus nodded.

“Okay.” Eli kissed his forehead, then moved his head so he was whispering into Marcus’s ear. “And if you feel like you want to punch me at any time, just say so.”

Marcus snickered to hide a whimper. Then he closed his eyes and turned his head until he felt Eli’s breath on his lips. He leaned until they touched. “No punching,” he promised, letting the words blend and disappear into the kiss.

It wasn’t long before Eli took control of that too.

---