Page 137 of Rules to Love By

Marcus grunted, freed himself, then flopped back on the bed so he could stare at the ceiling. Shadows of branches danced against the pale paint like demented dryads, listening in on his secrets and summoning gods only knew what magic in response. “Well, I know now how fucked up that was, don’t I?”

“Sorry.” Eli propped himself on his elbow and watched Marcus’s face, laying one big hand lightly on his belly. “Tell your story.”

Grateful for the simple contact, Marcus sighed. “That’s pretty much it. I called 9-1-1. Figured someone would come and make them all go away. Then it would be quiet and I wouldn’t have to worry if I fell asleep.”

“Jesus.” Eli petted his face, carefully sweeping curls off his forehead.

“I know it was the right thing to do.” He looked into Eli’s eyes. “Right?”

Eli tugged him into his arms. “It was. It wasn’t your thing to do, but someone had to. Someone should have made that call for you.”

“I’ve had a lot of therapy to convince me of that, don’t worry. My brain knows it was the thing that saved us all. Well…” He settled against Eli’s chest. “Not Mom, but me and the girls.” He sighed. “Maybe nothing was going to save Mom. I don’t know. She died the same way she lived. Breaking all the rules.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too. But I had Iris. I hope the girls had someone too. And Iris was good. She had rules I could follow. You know. For most things. But I am not great at making my own.”

“You actually are great at making your own.” Eli eased him upright so he could lift his chin and make him look at him. “What you’re having issues with is trusting yourself.”

“What if staying with her would have saved her? What if having her kids around would have—”

“Stop.” Eli gripped his chin. “What if staying meant you all ended up someplace way worse? You can play that game forever, and you will never, ever win.”

“I just want to know what the right thing to do is,” Marcus pleaded. “How do you know?”

“We talk about it. You tell me what you think, and I tell you what I think, and we see if there’s common ground.”

“Like?”

“Like, you think if you and I get naked right now and have wicked orgasms, you’ll feel better. I think if you do that when you’re this tightly wound, all that tension only springs back and heaves your guts out your nostrils, and we both end up more worried than we started.”

“You think that’s why I toss after?”

“I think it might be.”

“So? How do we fix it?”

“I can’t promise my idea will work.”

“Just what is it?”

“You need to let off the tension before we start. We find some other way to get rid of it first. Then when you build up that tsunami of pleasure and I finally let you orgasm, you’ll explode with it, and you’ll actually feel relaxed after.”

“So… don’t use sex as tension relief.”

“Doesn’t seem like it works that way for you.”

“What will work?”

Eli grinned.

“That’s not a good grin.” Sweat broke out down Marcus’s spine.

“We will figure out what works. Hopefully, we’ll have some fun experimenting.”

“And if it backfires?”

“Then we’ll deal with it. For tonight, we’re going to share a bottle of wine, a basket of food, maybe even a hot shower. Then we crawl into bed, and with any luck, you get a good night’s sleep. You need it after everything. And you deserve to go into that office with Schiffer tomorrow well rested.”

---