Page 61 of Set me Free

This was all beginning to be too much. Creed, his unborn child, the drama that came with that unborn child and now Sienna; all of it was too fucking much and I needed a break. I couldn’t stay here, not anymore, even if I wanted to but I certainly didn’t want to.

I couldn’t tell you when I had fallen asleep; I just knew that when I woke up the sun was rising through my bedroom windows. I felt weak, drowsy and very fucking alone.

Slowly, I got out of bed looking around at the mess I had made in my room. I had to get the fuck out of here, that was the only thing I was certain of at this time.

After cleaning up, packing the rest of my things and showering; I sat down in the middle of my bed and searched for a flight home to New York. As I scrolled through the list of flights, a thought came to mind…

If I went home, I would be alone. Averi and Egypt had gone to Cancun with some kids from school for Spring break and Arielle was in Atlanta supporting Brodie at the March Madness tournament.

Instead of searching for flights home, instead I searched for flights to Atlanta. The first one would be leaving in four hours, which gave me time to get back to the airport with time to spare.

I clicked off the website for the flights and instead, I went into my text thread with Creed, it had been silent on both ends since our blow up a few days ago. But in this moment, I needed him. It was another thing I hated; how fucking weak I was when it came to him. This kind of love, I knew could be dangerous. I had already seen some of the effects of it, the heartache, the pain.

Still, I needed him, wanted to see him, wanted him to hug me and hold me and tell me everything would be okay. So, I went back to the browser to purchase my flight to Atlanta and purchased the ticket for the first flight out. Not being with him in this moment, while I was feeling like this, was not an option.

Over six hours later,after a long flight, after Ari picked me up from the airport and after I had checked into my own hotel room, I paced back and forth in the middle of Ari’s hotel suite feeling like an idiot for being here. I didn’t even know if Creed would be receptive to seeing me. How we left things, with me leaving him in that dance studio that day, it wasn’t right.

Honestly, I felt terrible about it, but I had to stand my ground. We needed a break, a cool down where neither of us was talking to the other. We had been going too heavy since the day we met with the phone calls, texts, and all the time we spent consumed in each other.

I would be lying if I said Creed Langston didn’t have me acting dumb in love. The break was needed, but now I just missed him. So, that’s how I ended up here in Atlanta instead of taking my ass home to New York. I needed Creed, craved him and I wouldn’t be happy until I was back with him.

“Why you pacing Toot?”

“He’s going to cuss my ass out, I know it. The way I left him at the studio when he was just trying to surprise me, I don’t deserve that man.”

“Maybe he doesn’t deserve you.” She scoffed. “Give yourself more credit than that Serenity Bradshaw, you’re an amazing person and I’m not just saying that because we’re blood.” She winked at me and a smile crept on my face.

But I stood by what I had said; Creed had been amazing to me since the time we met and I kept giving him problems left and right. Honestly, it showed in the maturity between my 19 years and his 21.

“I never been in love with somebody like this before.” I sighed finally taking a seat on the couch. I placed my head in my hands, anxiety creeping through my entire body. “Not even Iman and I loved Iman a lot. It’s been a year since I met him, three months since we officially started dating and I am absolutely in love with that man. It’s childish right?”

“No baby, it’s beautiful.” Ari assured me. “I’m so happy for you Serenity because you’re experiencing the kind of love I’ve been having with Brodie for years. You’re experiencing the love Nona and Poppi have, my mama and Daddy, hell your mama and daddy. I ain’t gon’ lie to you; this shit hurts sometimes, hurts so fucking bad. You unfortunately got thrown a big loop early on in your relationship; but if this is the kind of love that I think it is, it’s gotta be worth it in the end.”

“A baby though Ari, how the hell am I going to navigate that?”

“Together, with your man. Take his lead and let him navigate while you follow. And I don’t think he’s going to cuss you out; that man been roaming around here for the past few days looking like a damn zombie. If anything, I’m sure you’ll help brighten his spirits.”

There was a loud knock at the door and my stomach twisted in knots.

“Girl, you’re worried for nothing; I’m telling you.” Ari chuckled, getting up and going to open the door. I stood up and waited, with bated breath. Brodie came in first, hugging Ari like they hadn’t been glued to each other’s hip whenever he wasn’t practicing or playing. Then Creed walked in, gave Ari a quick hug and turned to look at me.

“Hey.” I waved—like a fucking idiot. Creed stood rooted to the spot, staring at me before looking over at Brodie and Ari. I couldn’t read his face, couldn’t tell if he was happy to see me or pissed that I showed up here unannounced. The last timesomebody had done that to him, he got the news that he was about to be a father.

“We’ll give y’all a minute.” Ari said grabbing Brodie’s hand and escorting him into the bedroom closing the door.

“I missed you.” I said taking a few steps closer to him. “I know you probably don’t want to see me. I didn’t handle that situation at the studio in the best way. I’m not used to feeling like this. I was overstimulated, overwhelmed with all the feelings. I’m scared Creed, I’m fucking terrified that this situation is going to tear us apart and I didn’t know how to handle that any other way but to run, I guess.”

“Why you here?”

My heart deflated, damn near crumbled inside of my body.

“I missed?—”

“Yeah, but why aren’t you in Barbados? What happened?” I wrapped my arms around myself, rubbing my arm, trying to control my emotions as I looked away from him. “SB…”

“Sienna finally admitted that she wished I wasn’t born.” I shrugged. “But, you know, I knew it so I don’t know why I’m so surprised.”

“What?” he closed the distance between us before pulling me into his arms. And the moment I was in them, I broke down letting out all the hurt, all the pain, it all came spilling out of me. “I’m sorry baby.” He whispered, rubbing my hair and hugging me tight.

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