Page 26 of Sending Nudes to My Boss

I’ve never had an easy time trusting anyone, especially romantic partners. I’ve seen what my parents have been through. I’ve watched as my mother endured disappointment after disappointment, broken promises stacked on top of one another.

The thing about having a father like mine, is that it shatters your illusion that there’s such a thing as perfect. For most of my childhood, I believed my parents had the perfect marriage. And then that belief was struck down, wiped away in an instant.

Things change.

People lie.

William squeezes me tightly.

“What did you say?” he asks with a grin.

“You didn’t hear me?”

“I heard you. I just want to hear it again.”

“I love you.”

We’re in the porch swing right now, still only half clothed after a session of the most mind-blowing sex I’ve ever had. There’s nobody around for miles who could see us, and I’m in no hurry to watch William put his shirt back on.

“I love you too,” William whispers into my hair. It’s not the first time he’s told me he loves me, but now that I’ve said it back, it feels different. “I want to marry you.”

I jolt, looking back at him.

“I’m not proposing,” he says hurriedly. “I’m just telling you what I want.”

“I’m not ready.”

Although, as I say these words, I’m not totally sure they’re the truth. Am I ready for that commitment? What would it feel like, if William made that vow to me? Would it assuage some of my fears? Or would it magnify them?

The bigger the promise, the harder the fall.

Marrying William would be handing him my heart and trusting him not to drop it. Would be listening to him vow to love me all his life and…believing him.

I’m not ready for that yet.

But to his credit, William’s not asking. He’s just letting me know. Hewantsto marry me.

“I’ll wait until you’re ready,” he promises me, squeezing my hand. “I know you need time. I’m going to be here regardless. You’re waiting for the day that you wake up and I tell you that I don’t want you anymore, but that day will never come. Never.”

I close my eyes and rest my head back against his chest. The breeze sweeps over us, gently ruffing the grass in the darkened pasture.

“It’s enough just to know you love me,” William says. “I don’t need a ring or a ceremony. I just need you.”

I close my eyes and doze off. I only wake up when William’s phone buzzes from the pants he discarded on the porch beside the swing.

“Okay if I get this?” he asks.

I nod. I’m used to William taking work calls in the evening. I don’t expect that to change just because we’re dating now, although I appreciate that he always asks me if it’s alright.

William eases me off his lap and picks up his pants, grabbing the phone. He frowns when he sees the screen.

“What is it?” I ask.

“Your friend Katie,” he says, tapping the screen. “Hello?”

William hands his phone to me.

“She needs to talk to you.”

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