Page 20 of The Outlaw's Code

“Calder?” Vanessa’s eyes went wide. “Calder? Calder!”

I didn’t move. I didn’t breathe.

Vanessa took all the initiative, briskly walking towards me. By the time she was standing in front of me, her arms were already wide open. “Calder! Oh, my God!”

I didn’t reach for her. Still, she reached for me, taking me in her embrace. “Calder! I was so worried about you!”

She quickly pulled away from me, fire in her eyes. “What the hell is wrong with you? You can’t just disappear on me like that. Do you know how hard it was to track you down? I had to hire someone to figure out where you could’ve gone off to?—”

“I didn’t remember anything.”

“What?”

“I didn’t disappear on you,” I clarified. “I just didn’t remember anything. Doctor said it might’ve been a concussion. My short-term memory was affected.”

“Oh.” She calmed down for a moment. “Wait. Shit. Do you remember me? Do you remember us?”

“I remember you, Vanessa. Not everything. But I know we were together?—”

“Yeah, you better remember me,” she joked, wiping a tear out of the corner of her eye. “We’ve been through so much together, Calder. I was so worried it was all over, just like that.”

“But it was over, wasn’t it?”

“What are you talking about?”

“The last time we talked, it was just to argue,” I continued. “I can’t remember anything other than that. Just another one of our fights.”

“So?” Vanessa laughed it off. “That’s just our love language, Calder. Some people have gifts, acts of service. We have shouting at each other until one of us backs down.”

She placed her hands on my shoulders. “But none of that matters, right? Because when we’re together, it’s like we’re in a world of our own. People just don’t understand us.”

People just don’t understand us.

My heart ached at her words, knowing they weren’t true. At least, not anymore. There was someone who understood me,someone who made me feel the exact opposite of what Vanessa made me feel; someone safe and calm.

“Vanessa, I?—”

“On the way home, do you want to stop at that greasy spoon place you like in town? With that super snarky waitress.” Vanessa rolled her eyes. “I’d rather get some sushi, but I know how much you like your mom-and-pop type places.”

“I don’t—I’m not?—”

“You’re not coming back with me?”

I was spiraling in real time, my thoughts fuzzy and so far away. I spared a look behind me, expecting to see Shane still standing there. But Shane was halfway across the pasture, standing and staring. His eyes moved from Vanessa to me, his face blank.

And then, he started to walk even further away from us.

“I just need time,” I murmured. “Vanessa, I still don’t have all my memories back. This place has been good for me. I just need to finish getting better?—”

“Fine. We can shack up here until you’re feeling better.” She nodded. “Do you have your own cabin, at least? I can’t handle a roommate situation right now.”

“I… yeah.” I started to head towards my cabin, still not processing a single thing. Vanessa was at my side, her hand reaching for mine.

Fuck.

This was wrong. All of it.

My chest went tight as I tried and failed to come up with the right thing to say, my mouth and mind tangled up in an impossible mess.

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