Page 18 of The Outlaw's Code

“Don’t.” I was uncomfortable under his gaze, my eyes breaking away from him.

“Don’t what? Tell you the truth?”

I rolled my eyes as I shifted down his body, not stopping until my head was at his waist. I went straight to work, my mouth taking his cock between my lips. Calder groaned at the feel of it, steadying himself against the bale of hay. The angle I wasat made his already oversized shaft feel even bigger inside my mouth, the size of him stretching my lips. I didn’t mind the feel of it as I eagerly bobbed my head up and down the length of him, his precome already landing against my tongue.

“Fuck… Shane…” Calder groaned. “That feels so fucking good…”

I kept going, a part of me warming at the praise. I wanted to make Calder feel good, and I wanted him to know thatIcouldmake him feel good. I picked up my pace, moving my lips up and down his shaft faster and faster, my hands braced on either side of him. Calder’s waist began to meet my mouth, his hips pumping against me in a steady rhythm. My mind went fuzzy, as thoughts of Calder inside of me played behind my eyes, his motions feeling like a tease of something else to come.

“Mine… you’re all mine…” Calder’s body began to tremble, his come spilling right into my mouth. I didn’t hesitate for a second as I swallowed down every last drop of him, already obsessed with the way he tasted. I whimpered when he moved away from me, his cock slipping out from my lips.

Suddenly, he was pulling me back up next to him, our bodies side by side on the hay bale. There was light coming into the barn, a soft gold as the day came to an end. Calder rested an arm around me, his face nestled against my neck. “Fuck. I’m glad that worked out the way I wanted it to.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, if I’d kissed you like that, and you told me you weren’t interested, I’d probably have to find another ranch to stay on.” He chuckled. “There’d be no coming back from that level of embarrassment.”

“Did you really think there was a chance that I didn’t want you?”

“Uh, yes?” He chuckled again. “You’re a hard man to read, Shane. Has no one ever told you that before?”

I playfully shrugged as I brought a hand up to Calder’s face. I absent mindedly traced his cheek with my thumb. “You know how to read me though.”

“Hell yeah, I do. You’re becoming a second language to me.”

Something in my chest bloomed at the idea of Calder learning how to read me. I’d never felt this close to anyone before, this understood— “Shit.”

“Shit, what?”

“What if when you get your memories back, you change your mind?” My eyes went wide. “Even after we just… did this…”

“I’m not going to change my mind, Shane.”

“You don’t know that?—”

“Yeah, I do.” He placed another kiss against my neck. “What did I just tell you? You’re mine, Shane. All mine.”

I tried to relax against him, tried to be comforted by his words. But all I could think about was the unnamed woman in the photo, the one Calder was off and on with. Even if they’d been off the last time he’d seen her, he was still carrying her picture, wasn’t he? What if he’d been on his way to get her back? What if the storm was the only thing that’d kept them apart?

What if when Calder remembered his old life, there wasn’t any room for me in it?

8

CALDER

I was standingin front of my cabin, taking in the morning air.

It somehow felt fresher than ever before, clearer, cleaner. My chest was tight with something, like I needed to be unburdened. I knew that it wasn’t regret because I hadn’t regretted anything with Shane, not a single moment of it. Still, there was something building inside me, something that needed to be confronted.

After Shane and I were together last night, a flood of memories had come through once I was back at my cabin. I suddenly remembered my apartment in Bozeman, all the art on the wall that looked like images of a place just like Stratton Ranch. I remembered the pinball machine I’d spent way too much money on, my favorite pair of work boots, the pair I needed to throw out ASAP. I even remembered my truck, with its cracked windshield, something I’d been meaning to get fixed for the last few weeks. I’d just been so busy with work that it’d slipped my mind, a to-do list item that kept getting pushed down the list.

And then, I remembered Vanessa. The woman in the photo.

Memories of her came through loud and clear. We were toxic for each other, the perfect mix of excitement and explosivearguments. There were memories of us fighting outside her favorite bar, fighting outside my favorite bar, fighting outside nearly every establishment that would have us. The fights were followed by making it up to each other with expensive gifts, expensive trips, trying to put a band-aid over the latest injury we’d caused. The pattern was always the same, with her accusing me of holding something back from her, never being my true self. I’d accused her of finding reasons to push me away, to leave because of things she’d only imagined.

But now I knew that Vanessa hadn’t imagined anything.

She was right. I had been holding something back from her, because I’d been holding something back from myself, too.

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