Page 16 of The Outlaw's Code

“How’ve you been? I know I was kind of quiet today, and I was M.I.A. the day before, so we haven’t had a chance to talk lately,” he went on. “How are your memories? Anything coming back?”

“I… actually, yeah.” My voice was low. “Something about the woman in that photo you showed me.”

“Oh? What about her?”

“We’re not together.”

“What?”

“I mean, I think we were together, before,” I explained. “But we went through a breakup. I don’t know how long ago. I do know that it wasn’t our first. I think we were off and on or something, always kind of together, always kind of not.Whatever it was, it wasn’t… stable. I wasn’t able to just relax and… be… like this.”

“Like this? Like what?”

“Calm. Like I am when I’m around you,” I murmured. “I’ve never been this calm around anyone before, Shane. Not that I can remember.”

“We should… get to sleep. I think you’re a little more tired than you realize,” Shane said, already moving away from the fire.

“Wait. Shane. I—” I poured water on the fire, making sure it was all the way out.

I even moved dirt around it for good measure, my heart beating rapidly in my chest. By the time I reached the tent, Shane was already under the blanket, his eyes staring up at the ceiling.

I didn’t say a word as I joined him under the covers, slipping into place beside him. Our shoulders were side by side, his gaze straight up. I reached for his hand, linking our fingers together…

Shane didn’t pull away. I slightly shifted beside him, not stopping until I was leaning over him, just enough for our faces to be inches from each other’s. Staring at his skin, I gently pressed a kiss against his neck, his chin, his cheek. His eyes met mine, as my lips hovered over his. I softly brushed my lips against Shane’s, my hand squeezing his, our chests seemingly beating in time?—

“Calder. Don’t.”

“Shane?” I said his name, confused. “You don’t want me—you don’t want to?”

“You’ve been through a lot. You’re not thinking clearly.”

“Actually, I think this is the only thing that makes sense.” My voice was low. “You’re saying you don’t feel it, too?”

“Goodnight, Calder.” Shane closed his eyes tight, like he was willing me to disappear on the spot.

“Goodnight, Shane.” I rested my head on his shoulder, fingers still intertwined with each other’s.

I didn’t know if he’d forgotten we were holding hands, or if it was supposed to be my consolation prize.

Because Shane Stratton was never going to give me any more of him, or give anything more to us.

We were warm hands under a cold blanket, and that was all we were ever going to be.

7

SHANE

I couldn’t stop thinkingabout Calder’s lips on mine.

I’d wanted him to take things further, to end up tangled in each other’s arms. I wanted to kiss down his naked chest, to feel him pressed against me bare. The thoughts had been swirling around my head all day, embarrassing and constant. I was torn between the urge to ask Calder for a do-over, one where I kissed him instead, and the urge to never speak to him again.

Calder hadn’t mentioned a thing since yesterday, shadowing me like things were still normal. The only differences in him were almost imperceptible, him standing a little closer to me, asking questions like he wanted to keep talking to me instead of having the information. It was the sort of thing it was impossible to call him out on, the sort of thing that could’ve just been in my head.

We were working in one of the barns, restacking feed, moving bales of hay inside. I was grateful because it was our last task for the day, which meant I’d finally be able to get some time away from Calder. I just needed to clear my head, and then I’d stop thinking about him so much?—

“On your left,” Calder said as he brushed past me. His skin was on mine for only a few seconds, but it felt like he’d started a fire. I groaned, a part of me desperate to throw myself into his flames, another part trying to pretend I hadn’t felt anything.

“You doing okay, Shane?” Calder asked as he casually lifted his t-shirt, wiping sweat off his forehead.

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