Page 26 of The Stranger's Code

“What if you can’t bounce back?” Shane cut me off again. “What if you’re not supposed to?”

“Shane, he lied to me?—”

“Did he?” Shane pressed. “I never got the sense that Cameron was a liar, Levi. Maybe not exactly truthful about why he was here. But do you really feel like he lied to you about who he was? How he felt about things?”

“It’s over, Shane. It’s done.”

“Levi—”

“Drop it. Please?” I pleaded. “It’s hard enough just thinking about him—I can’t?—”

I let out a tired sigh. “I don’t know what’s going on with me, all right? But I need to get past it. Just… give me some room to get past it.”

Shane nodded. “Got it. I’ll give you some room to get past it. Besides, I’ve already said what I needed to say.”

* * *

“Cameron Clarke,you’ve done really well for yourself recently, haven’t you?”

I was holed up in my bedroom, watching an old interview of Cameron’s from a few months ago. My brain was betraying me. It desperately wanted to see him again, even though I knew I didn’t want to. This felt like a happy medium, keeping my distance while still getting to see that perfect smile and hear his perfect laugh. I felt pathetic in a way that was new to me, still spending my time thinking about an ex?—

Not even an ex?—

Instead of just moving on with my life already.

“Yeah, it’s been a whirlwind, really. I’m thankful for everything, every opportunity.”

“And you’ve been taking every opportunity! Your manager sent us over a bit of your schedule. When do you get to sleep?”

“Sleep isn’t really my thing. Who needs it? I’ll sleep when I’m irrelevant.”

The interviewer laughed, her teeth pearly white.“But what about making time for more important things? Like romance?”

“Saying romance is more important than sleep might be controversial.”Cameron grinned.“I’m not sure the science backs you up on that one.”

“Seriously, Cameron. There have been rumors about you online that you’ve been seeing a runway model, Dan Monroe? How is that going, if it’s going?”

“We didn’t manage to stick the landing on that one,” he joked, but he still sounded hurt.“I’m not afraid to admit that I wanted it more than he did, I think. That’s sort of a problem of mine. Thinking there’s some sort of deep connection when sometimes it’s just… not there.”

“But if you found the one, some deeper connection, would you make room for it in your life?”

“Oh, I’d do anything to keep it in my life. Anything.”Cameron grinned again.“One thing about playing these characters, getting into them the way I do with immersing myself and research… it makes me crave something real when I’m off set. I’ll always want the real thing, at the end of the day. Always?—”

I cut off the interview, not able to handle looking at Cameron’s face for even one more second. I stared at my blank screen, my mind racing with a million thoughts. Even if Cameron hadn’t been honest with me, thinking back on the way he acted, the things he’d said…

Hadn’t he really felt that connection with me? Like there was something deeper between us?

He’d seen me and I’d believed him. We’d been in sync, and it felt like magic. Even when our bodies were aligned, it felt more like we were just finding our way home?—

But he’d lied to me. How was I supposed to see past that? Even if I wanted to be with him, how was I ever supposed to trust him again?

Although, hadn’t I hurt him, too? The night that I’d pushed him away?

I briefly wondered if that made us even, in some strange, cosmic sense. We’d both hurt each other, but maybe that meant we’d be able to move past it, our mistakes canceling each other out.

Or maybe I was just making up excuses for myself, giving myself a reason to go running back to him.

None of it mattered, anyway.

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