Page 90 of The Duke's Vice

She reached her hand out of the carriage and slapped on the hood. To both of their surprise the carriage stopped.

She smirked as she reached for the door. Graham’s hand shot out and stopped her. His other hand hit the roof and he barked out, “Go!”

Once again the carriage began its journey, bumping along the back roads of the city.

Graham sat still, his outstretched hand still holding hers, his eyes never dropping contact.

Beatrice licked her dry lips. Tension was pulsing off of him in waves. She hated not knowing where she stood with him.

She thought he was done with her but right now his eyes were telling a different story.

“You should not have been there. What were you thinking?” He ground out.

His voice was low and menacing but he finally released her hand. She cradled her hand against her chest, rubbing where he held it. It didn’t hurt, but the loss of his touch was unbearable.

“I was thinking I had one last item to check off my list.”

Graham laughed dryly. “That blasted list.”

“It means something to me.”

“Your ruination?” His eyes were cold and black.

Beatrice laughed as she shrugged her shoulders. “Ruination means nothing to a spinster.”

“You could have been hurt. You are no where near ready to handle a party like that on your own.”

“I thought I handled myself just fine.” She pulled out the letter opener she held against the man. “I started carrying this with me after the first night we met. I figured if nothing else I should carry some sort of protection with me.”

Graham rubbed his temples as he leaned his head back against the seat. “You think a letter opener would stop a man from getting what he wants?”

“Well, if he was someone like you I think just offering something he wants would cause him to run for the hills.” She chided.

Graham looked on in stunned silence that had Beatrice smiling. “You can say you don’t want me, that’s fine if you want to lie to yourself. You once told me you know how to kiss without it meaning anything to you. I was naive enough to believe it.”

Her eyes drifted over him. His body was stiff and on edge, energy simmered along his skin, he was like a cornered animal waiting for the right time to pounce.

“But you can’t tell me you felt nothing during our last kiss. If you didn’t, I wouldn’t be sitting here.”

“That’s preposterous.” He snapped.

“Then tell me, Your Grace, why am I sitting here? In your carriage?” She peeked outside at the passing scenery. “Presumably going to your house?”

Beatrice watched as Graham’s cravat bobbed with his swallow.

She sighed. “It doesn’t matter. I think you should know that I have agreed to marry Amos.”

Beatrice had hoped for a slight shift in his demeanor, anything that would signal his opinion on the subject one way or another but the man remained motionless.

“I have no grand fantasies about what my life will be like with him, but I do know he can offer me the safety and security ofa married woman with the freedoms of a spinster.” She lifted a shoulder. “It is an offer I cannot refuse. However…”

He shifted in his seat.

She noted the movement and continued. “However, I have not given up on my list. I want to enter into my marriage knowing what it’s like to be with a man. And not just a man who is with me because we’re married. I want… ”

Without warning Beatrice’s voice caught in her throat. “I want to know,” she stopped to swallow and regain her composure. “I want to know what it’s like to be with someone who wants me.”

Tears gathered in her eyes. This was her last chance to not only finish her blasted list, but to give herself something that truly mattered to her. The choice to give herself to someone of her choosing, with no rules, no made up society roles, just her and her wishes.

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