Page 9 of The Duke's Vice

Charlotte took a moment to consider her daughter’s words then breathed a sigh of relief.

“Is that all?” She laughed. “Beatrice, how short is your memory? Neither one of your sisters wanted to get married when they were your age. Remember Eleanor? She was adamant against even getting to know Derek and now they have two children and are very happy.”

Beatrice chewed her bottom lip. “Mama, you’re not understanding me. This isn’t some wayward thought because of my age. I’m not saying this to convince myself I’ll be all right if I don’t find a match. I’m saying this because I truly believe in my heart of hearts that I will be better off alone.”

Beatrice’s words hung in the air between them.

“Are you saying your sisters have a pitiful existence?” Charlotte sneered. Her tone full of pain. “You’re too good for their lives? For my life, is that it?”

Beatrice’s eyes flew to her mother’s. “No, Mama! How could you think that? What I want for my life has no reflection on how you or my sister live your lives. It’s just not for me.”

Charlotte shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “I don’t understand. We have given you everything and this is how you repay us?” Tears welled in her mother’s eyes.

“Don’t you see, Mama, it is because you gave me everything that I want more-”

Charlotte’s sob cut her daughter’s words off. “So this is my fault!”

Beatrice rubbed her temples. This was getting her nowhere.

“No, Mama, this is no one’s fault. This is just who I am. I’m happy. And thanks to Derek and Eleanor I can have a sustainable future, one where I-”

“Enough.” Charlotte slammed her hand on the table rattling the breakfast plates.

Beatrice gasped. She had never seen her mother lose her temper. Her dramatics always swayed towards the lighter side of life,never the villain. Guilt and shame settled in Beatrice’s bones as tears gathered in her eyes.

“Mama, I am so sorry. Perhaps I am just nervous.” The words felt like sand on her tongue. She knew what she wanted, but to see the distress it caused her mother was too much.

Charlotte’s shoulders dropped. “Of course, that’s it. It’s just like I always told your sisters, you need to trust the process.”

Beatrice met her mother’s eyes, both women knowing that was not the true cause of Beatrice’s woes. Regardless, it was enough for both women to pretend it was so they could steer the conversation into safer waters.

“Now, we’ll have no more of this talk.”

Beatrice watched as her mother took a deep breath and change back into the soft, matronly woman she was expected to be. “Where is Ms. Adams with my new cup?” She said with a forced laugh. “I can’t get my day properly started until I’ve had my tea.” She said with a smile.

Beatrice focused on the plate blurring in front of her eyes. She willed the tears back and swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat.

“I’m very excited to see your sister Sarah at the ball today. It’s a shame Eleanor wouldn’t be able to join us.” Charlotte’s voice was clear as if the previous conversation did not just happen.

Beatrice could only shake her head in agreement as she forced herself to chew and swallow a strawberry. The lead weight in her stomach grew with every swallow. This was going to be a long day.

CHAPTER 3

“Iknew it. Everyone who is any one is here today.” Charlotte whispered in Beatrice’s ear as the women entered the ballroom. “Look! There’s Lord Devlin’s son, I wish I could remember his name. Do you see Sarah? She would remember, that girl was always so good remembering people’s names.”

Beatrice’s eyes were trained on the floor in front of her. The weight that had started in her stomach over breakfast had grown and felt as if it were settled in her feet. With each step she took towards the ballroom she felt as if she were walking towards a guillotine.

“I haven’t seen her. Perhaps she got caught up with Maisie, I can’t imagine having a two year old makes it easier to get ready on time.”

At the mention of her granddaughter’s name Charlotte melted. “Ah, that sweet child. She certainly has those two wrappedaround her little finger. Her aunt, too.” Charlotte nudged Beatrice.

She couldn’t help herself, she smiled. Thinking of the curly hair of her darling little niece never failed to make Beatrice smile. She may not want to be a mother, but she couldn’t deny the love she felt when she was around her nieces and nephew.

Beatrice looked up into the swaying crowd of the dancers and the onlookers. If she had to be here, she might as well try to enjoy herself. It helped that the ball was being thrown by Lady Swanson, she always had the best biscuits and her punch was the most refreshing.

“Come, let’s take a walk around, see if we can find your sister.”

Her arm entwined with her mother’s as they made their way around the ballroom. They didn’t find Sarah, but her mother ran into several friends. Beatrice had to laugh. Her mother made friends wherever she went and therefore she was always stopping to talk to someone.

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