Page 53 of Her Bear of a Duke

"I suppose."

But there was a strange feeling inside of her. Lady Blackwood, from what she knew, was not a kind lady. She had debuted long before Dorothy, but there had been whispers about the Blackwoods, ones that she had always ignored but now wishedshe had not. She wished she knew more about them, but she had never cared for vicious gossip about other ladies.

"Dorothy," he said gently, taking a hand in his, "I know that this has been a lot, and perhaps difficult to hear, but you and I are married. I am yours in every way that matters. That will not change."

Suddenly, that strange feeling was replaced by another. Her heart fluttered at his words, his promise that they were what mattered to him. She did not want to feel so strongly about it, as she so badly wanted their marriage to be simple, but she was complicating it and it felt good to. She thought back to the kiss they had shared again, and how it had been her first act of defiance.

"Why did you kiss me?" she asked again, hoping that he would now explain himself.

"What do you mean?"

"The night we met, why did you kiss me?"

"Because you wanted me to. You did want me to, did you not?"

She felt rather disappointed with that.

"Well, of course I did, but I had hoped that you were not simply doing it for my sake."

"Oh, that was certainly not the case either. Why would you think that?"

She wanted to say that it was because she had never seen herself as anything close to desirable. She was short and soft and round, nothing like the beautiful ladies that he could have taken. There had never been a moment in her life where she had felt like someone that could be wanted and loved until that moment. It was not love, she was not that foolish, but it could have been. It could have been more than friendship, eventually, had he thought she was beautiful, but he did not.

"I suppose I thought you pitied me."

"Certainly not. I thought you were interesting, if anything, because not many ladies dare to rebel the way that you did. I had hoped to see you for who you truly were, rather than the perfect little lady I assumed your father would have you play the part of when I visited. I wanted to see who you truly were."

"And what did you think of me?"

He was looking at her strangely, as though he did not quite know what to say. She knew why that was; he thought she was unassuming and unremarkable the same way every member of thetondid. She was nothing special, and even as a duchess she would not be seen any differently.

"Do not look like that," he huffed. "You do remember that I hardly saw you that night, do you not? It was dark out, and either your mask was on or my eyes were closed for the mostpart. One does not tend to keep them open when kissing, you know."

"Even so, you saw… you saw me; my– oh, it does not matter."

"It seems to bother you, so I would argue the contrary."

She willed herself to tell him. She tried to force the words to come, to explain that she had spent her life surrounded by young ladies that were better than her, and that she had never been able to compete. She told herself that if she could just get it out, he would understand, possibly even refute her claims.

"I have just never seen myself as worthy of you. That is all."

"A kind and gentle lady such as yourself is absolutely worthy of me. Besides, who am I, exactly?"

"A duke."

"Come now, surely after our time together you know me better than that, yes?"

She did, of course. She knew the way the sunlight reflected in his hair, and how he had two freckles on his left cheek. She knew that he was slow to anger, and wonderful with children. He was a good man, and a patient one, and far better than she had ever hoped to find in a husband.

"You are kind," was all that she could manage.

It burned her not to be able to tell him the truth, that he inhabited her thoughts far more than she would have liked, but it would have been a foolish thing to say. She knew what her marriage was, and so did he, and if she had to act as though that was all she felt then that was what would be done.

She enjoyed her new life far too much to jeopardize it.

"Scared," he said suddenly.

"What?"

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