Page 31 of Her Bear of a Duke

"Yes, but I am your uncle."

"Very well, then your brother was my father. I still have one."

He wished that she was a quieter child, so that she would make it easier for him to talk, but he was pleased all the same that she used her voice.

"Yes, but he was not with your mother. He preferred to do other things than raise a family."

"I see. Was I not good?"

"On the contrary, you have always been wonderful. I have no qualms about you at all, even if you eat all of my chocolates when you think that I am not looking."

She laughed softly, but then her face fell again. He did not want her to think that she had ever been a burden. Yes, the circumstances surrounding her birth had not been ideal, but that was no fault of hers. It had been his brother doing ridiculous things and charming young ladies that did not know any better.

He wondered if Catherine's mother thought that Thomas loved her, and that the two of them would leave for Gretna Green and marry and live as a family. He hoped that she did not, as it would have saved her so much heartache, but he knew what became ofher. He knew that she was hopelessly and foolishly in love, and when that had not been reciprocated…

"Your mother loved you very much, but she was alone. She did not know me, and did not know that I would have helped her. Instead, she took matters into her own hands."

"What do you mean?"

There it was, the question that would lead to him saying something that he could never take back. He did not know how she would react, if she would even understand, and he did not know quite how to comfort her.

"Your mother was frightened, Catherine, and so she did what she thought was best. She– she took your hand, and went for a swim."

"Swimming? I thought I came to you in the Winter."

"You did. The water was freezing, and when someone found the two of you they pulled you out of the water. Your mother, on the other hand, well, she refused to come out."

He could see her thinking, trying to piece everything together in a way that she understood. He hated that he had left it so long, as then she might have been able to talk about it, but he had kept it from her thinking that she would never understand.

"So she died, and it was her own fault?"

"No!" He said quickly. "No, she was unwell, like I told you. She was in a lot of pain, and she did something she thought would help."

"Like when I stand by the window?" she asked.

"In a sense, yes, though you do something that is safe."

He had not told her the entire truth, that her mother had planned to take Catherine with her entirely, but it was enough for a child of her age. All that she had known was that her mother had died of an illness and nothing more, but Morgan knew that it was time he told her pieces of the truth so that she might one day understand.

"So she abandoned me," she whispered.

"No."

"But she did."

She looked up at him, and her eyes were filled with tears.

"She left me behind," she whimpered. "She decided that she would rather swim in freezing water than care for me. Am I truly that despicable?"

"Not at all. Catherine, you shall never know what joy you bring to all of us. Your mother loved you very much, but she did not know what else to do. She wanted you to be happy."

"I would have been happy with her!"

"Yes, but she did not think that. It is difficult to understand even for me, and so if you cannot comprehend it then it is perfectly fine, but know that she loved you. You will see that one day."

She was trembling under his arm, and he held her tightly. She rested her head against him and sighed deeply before escaping his grasp and going to her feet.

"So you only have me out of duty."

---