Page 20 of Rockwell Academy: The Twist

“I am.”

He makes no secret of hiding it and I would expect no less.

“Because of what happened last year?”

My words falter because this is a subject we haven’t really addressed since we smashed one another’s virginity in a foolish moment of abandonment.

“Of course it’s about what happened last year.”

He is angry and his voice is low, but loaded with accusation.

“It meant a lot, Cassie; to me anyway.”

“And you think it meant shit to me?”

I turn and glare at him in the shadows. “Fuck, Jack, I wanted it to be you. Don’t ask me why because I’m still processing that. We were raised as family and as soon as we–well–dropped into the rabbit hole, I guessed it would change between us and you’re a fool if you thought differently.”

“I wanted it to be you too, Cass. I always did, and it didn’t feel wrong to me.”

His gaze softens and I’m surprised when he reaches out and palms my face as he whispers, “I have always loved you. Why wouldn’t I choose to share my most precious memory with you? We have shared everything else and there is nobody else in the world I wanted that memory with.”

Tears blind me as Jack opens up his heart to me and I nod, gulping back the emotion as if it’s really that easy.

“It has always been you, Jack.”

I admit my inner emotion but add sadly, “Which is why Rockwell is so important to both of us.”

He nods, resignation deep in his eyes as I continue.

“You are the beat of my heart and the life that flows through my veins. You are my best friend and my soulmate – family too. You have been with me for my entire life and I never want that to change, but we owe it to ourselves to see what life has to offer outside of the compound. We must take this journey, Jack, and you know it. It kills me knowing you’re hurting because of something I’ve done. It also kills me seeing you with Siri. Touching her, smiling at her and replacing me—with her.”

I snap my hand over his and stare deep into his eyes. “I always believed you were everything I ever needed, but how can we find ourselves if we don’t lose ourselves in the process?”

Jack’s eyes bore deep into mine, the silence surrounding us as the night air clings to the shadows. This is an intimate moment—even more intimate than that night and what weshared because it’s a declaration of feelings, emotions and not a physical act. That makes it more powerful, raw and devastating and Jack nods, understanding deep in his eyes as he whispers huskily, “I never really wanted anyone else, Cassie. It was always you. The lines blurred the older we got and changed from kids into adults with all the baggage that goes with that. There was never any other girl who commanded my attention like you have, and I suppose I never expected that to change.”

“It’s okay, Jack. You don’t have to explain because I’m with you on the same page and always have been.”

He strokes my face with a delicate touch and whispers, “I understand what you’re saying, Cassie. I’m heading to the military after Rockwell and you will be starting at whatever law practise your father arranges for you. Our lives will part and if it’s meant to be, they will come together when it’s the right time.”

Tears spill down my face because I hate every word of this conversation. It’s almost a goodbye and I am not ready for that.

“Frankie.” He heaves a deep sigh. “I never expected you to fall for a guy like that. Despite that, however, I kind of see the attraction.”

“And Siri?”

He shakes his head. “I like her, but I’ve been holding back.”

“Because of me?”

I state fact, not hope and he nods. “It felt wrong. Almost as if I was betraying what we have. Betraying you.”

“I won’t pretend it doesn’t cut deep when I see you together, but I recognize both our needs to experience other people. Frankie is so different, compelling and an addiction. Is he the one? I doubt it. Who knows? He gives nothing away, but I like him. I enjoy his company and I’m learning a lot about myself in the process.”

He nods, a thoughtful gleam in his eye.

“Set yourself free, Jack.” I gaze deep into his eyes. “If you want to continue things with Siri, go all the way—because you'll never truly know if your feelings are real unless you put them to the test. You may discover I’m not so great after all and had a lucky escape.”

“You’re probably right.”

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