Page 58 of Poison Vows

“You… you’re crazy!” she shouts.

“Why? For being a nobody?” I scoff. “Thanks to your parents and that plan of yours of using me, my identity is close to nonexistent. Go ahead, baby girl! Not only will you be helping my criminal case, but the story will be so sensational! Jordan Peele couldn’t write a better script!”

I can’t help but laugh coldly when I see the look on Melissa’s face. It’s like she’s just been slapped across the face. Hard.

“You’re not really smart, are you?” I say mockingly, watching her as she trembles. “And to think just a week ago, all I thought of you was how kind and sweet you were to track me down, bring me to reunite with my father, but not only did I meet him, I also met the woman who birthed me whom I believed was dead. Who knew you’d also give me this gift of clarity?”

From the moment Melissa sent me those bloodcurdling images, I decided to be calm and really think about everything that happened from the perspective of gains and losses.

Actually, my state of mind is all thanks to Emmett.

No one in this world knows how to shock my system back to earth and completely wake me up like Emmett does.

It’s just that before, I stubbornly refused to face reality and held on to my pipe dreams.

I kept my mind firmly stuck in made-up worlds where I would make him tell me all thesweet nothingsI was desperate to hear, hold my hand, and tell me that he loves me.

Astraea is now pursuing a master’s in behavioral psychology.

She once told me about maladaptive daydreaming, an undiagnosed mental disorder that has a strong potential of ruining one’s life if left unguarded.

Losing touch with reality starts off as escapism, yes, but overdrawn bouts of this state can make one’s mind move from just wishes to complete delusion.

Anyone can easily get addicted to the fantasies they create in their heads and form emotional and psychological attachments to fake scenarios.

The crazy thing is, we don’t intentionally set out to lose ourselves but rather to find comfort and some semblance of joy in a life we have full control over.

What if my life was like this instead, with such and such people, walking a certain path filled with laughter, good intensity, passion, joy, peace, and protection?

One scenario that started when I was a child… later became an entire world.

Every time I was alone, bored, or about to sleep, I’d daydream and pretend.

I even had full-on conversations by myself, laughing at responses I’d make up in my head.

Because in my head, unrequited love wasn’t a thing.

Being abandoned was not intentional.

But, none of that is true.

Emmett has never loved me.

I was intentionally abandoned to be sold later.

Believing daydreams is a soul-crushing pain that I’m now experiencing, so much so that I can barely breathe.

The false hope I fed myself… when reality comes toppling that world, the indescribable, endless sorrow sinks into your bones and stays forever when you realize how cruel you were being to yourself when you thought you were helping yourself cope.

“What do you want?” Melissa’s question brings me back to the now.

I look at her, studying her expression.

“I’m disappointed.”

“What?”

“I was hoping your cruelty would go all out. After all, it takes a special kind of evil to endorse and even plan another girl’s rape, but here you are wanting to negotiate. How pathetic.”

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