Page 214 of Poison Vows

Four monthslater

“Not that anyone is rushing you, but how long do you think you’re going to take this time?” I eye my wife as she waddles past me with a sly smirk.

“Impatient much?” she says sassily.

“It’s the eighth time you’ve used the bathroom since these asshats arrived!”

“And who’s fault is this?”

I smirk at my wife. “You’re the one who seduced me?—”

“Shut up!” She rushes back to me, covers my mouth with her palm, her eyes blazing. “Everyone can hear you!”

I glance to the side to see our friends, Astraea and King, Kimberly and Noah all staring at us with varied expressions on their faces.

“I can’t believe this,” Kimberly mutters in disbelief. “Were these two always this… brazen?”

“More like perverted, really,” Noah chuckles. “I swear it’s always the quiet ones! Now they discuss the number of timesthey visit the bathroom in front of mixed company. I’m appalled!”

“Oh shut it, Noah,” my wife says, laughing and looking like a radiant blossom in the sun. God, she’s gorgeous. “You used to grant lewd wishes and now you’re the poster boy for manners?”

“Hey, don’t bring up my past!” Noah clutches his imaginary pearls, and the girls laugh at the idiot’s antics.

“Seriously, give me a moment,” my wife says and rushes out of the room.

We’re in Westbrook Blues where we’ve been for the past few months, finding a rhythm that works for us. And it’s been going very well.

“Jesus Christ, what happened to your face?” Noah suddenly points at me.

“What?”

“It looks like… wait, ladies and gentlemen, it’s the same disease he’s been suffering from these past few months!”

“What disease?”

“Smiling,” King says simply.

I deadpan as the rest of the room dissolves in a fit of laughter.

“Very funny,” I grumble, annoyed and wanting these shitheads out of my house but I need their help. “Can you get back to work?”

Surprising my wife is the hardest thing to do for me. It’s close to impossible.

I can’t catch her unawares, nor can I just spring something on her.

Her sixth sense is always tingling and now that she’s pregnant, she’s extra sensitive about anything I do. It’s been a nightmare but thank God for her recent love for the bathroom.

“Move it there, you directionless idiot,” I tell Noah who flips me off.

“Hey, you’re the one who asked for our help and now you’re complaining?”

“Is this what you deal with every single day?” I ask Kimberly. “I never realized how troubled you’ve been.”

Kimberly sighs dramatically. “That’s my man. I’m going to stick beside him.”

The whole room pauses and looks at Kim and she looks around, confused.

“I can’t believe you just said that,” Astraea says laughing softly.

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