Could it be… from him?
I’m so excited I could burst with joy!
He does think of me! Like I think of him…
Right?
Right, baby. I carry you with me in all my heartbeats. How can I forget you?
Flipping through the diary that’s sparsely written, with some suspicious tear stains already dried and crisp, I ache all over.
When I flip over to the next page, a cold chill runs down my spine at the acute emotions shown by the shakily written entries.
November 9
What’s the point of living when it’s so… cold?
It’s lonely.
But that’s not new.
There’s a Bible verse Grammy used to tell me…
‘Do not awaken love before its time.’
But when is the right time?
Or we’re just not meant to be…
That Bible verse is from Songs of Solomon Chapter 8:4.
My heart stutters in my chest, but I keep going. I dare not stop now.
December 25
‘Isolated.’
‘Left behind.’
‘Abandoned.’
These are the notes they write about me.
Why does no one want me?
Am I that repulsive?
What’s wrong with me that I’m always ignored and unwanted?
Always in the background. Unable to fit in.
Am I so unlovable?
I want to die.
My entire body weakens with pain.
She was suffering this much?