Page 190 of Poison Vows

A feeling of insanity starts brewing in me, like a storm that I’m sure will take me out too. And for the first time in a very long time, I want the storm to take me.

I want to crash out.

“Then what about me?” I croak hoarsely, lifting my chin up slowly so I can look at her. “Did you ever think about me and the extremely deep breach of identity you imparted on me?”

Beverly clamps a hand over her mouth and starts sobbing, and I just stand there, staring at her, seeing… nothing.

“Did you hate me so much?” I mutter.

Something as basic and fundamental as age was denied to me, all because she wanted to cover her tracks from a man she knows she should’ve never married but decided to stay with anyway.

If that’s not a clear choice, then I don’t know what is.

But… why did everyone in my life go along with this fable?

Grammy, Gramps, and Samuel likely knew all this, but why did they—WHY?

A pain so wretched, vicious, and ugly takes root in the pit of my soul.

“You can tell all those colorful lies to yourself all you want, but the truth is you got rid of me because I was born sick.”

Beverly gasps. “Y-you know?” she asks, walking toward me in a rush. “I told your grandmother to not tell you unless it was necessary.”

I laugh. “Even though you were not in my life, you still wanted to control it! You are such an incredible mother, Beverly! You deserve a crown!”

Growing up, I was always aware that there were things Grammy and Samuel kept from me.

They would give me concerned looks, whisper to each other, but shut up when I asked what was wrong.

The worst thing is, I’ve always been painfully aware that there’s something incredibly wrong with me, and after all these years of wondering, I know it’s connected to my health.

“Your husband obviously knew I wasn’t his. Why did he go along with it anyway?”

Beverly is silent for a while before she clears her throat, but tears are still falling down her cheeks.

“Daughters are much more valuable for ambition in this dark world. Of course he went along with it.”

“In other words, you already knew he’d do all that messed-up nonsense! You knew he’d one day come for me to complete those shady deals, didn’t you?”

A determined look appears in her eyes.

“Politics is incredibly dirty and in order for me to survive to protect my loved ones, I had to fully immerse myself in it. You can’t be ignorant and choose to stay in the backseat while evil makes decisions for you. That’s not something I’ll ever allow, not when my babies’ lives are going to be used as kindling for the fire.”

I’m so stunned, I don’t even know what to think or say right now.

“You should remember that,” she tells me in a somber tone. “You’re now part of this, but it’s not roses and sunshine, Ivy! If you can’t be as ruthless, then get out! Get out while you still can, or else who knows where you’ll end up?”

Feeling sick to my stomach, I nod and head for the door to leave, but something else tingles at the back of my head.

“Your friend from back home, it was Daphne Easton, wasn’t it?”

The look on her face is confirmation enough.

“Which means the son she gave birth to was Emmett.”

“She had another child later too. Your grandfather delivered the baby in secret.”

Lara! Emmett’s sister that he rejected and never acknowledges.

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