Page 89 of House of Soot

She’s wearing sweatpants and a T-shirt, and I wonder where they came from and then chastise myself for not thinking about the things she needs.

“Thank you for these,” she says to Phoenix.

He nods. “Flint’s wife, Lucy, thought you might like a change of clothes.”

Her gaze turns to me, and I’m filled with fear and hope. “I owe you an apology.”

I can’t imagine why.

“I truly didn’t know Ronan’s plan all those years ago. I thought the families were friends. And after, they played it likethey were honoring your memory.” She looks so broken, and I want to hold her and put her back together. “I know I’m complicit, but mostly it’s because I was a dumb girl. If I had known, I would have gone to your father. Honestly, I would have.”

“I believe you.” And I do. The truth is, I should have acknowledged earlier that she was used by Ronan. Before and after the fire. I have no doubt that he kept Jenna and her mother on the estate as a way to protect them from anyone finding out the truth. I should be glad he didn’t kill them.

“Do you?” Her demeanor is so different from last night. Is this her reaching out to fix what we had? Or is she just seeking forgiveness before she leaves me behind?

“I do. I should have recognized Ronan’s manipulation sooner.” My fingers itch to reach for her, but I put my hands in my pockets knowing I don’t have the right. "Instead, I let my anger blind me, made you pay for something you didn’t even know happened."

"I did show him the passageway.” Her expression is stricken. "Your parents died because of me."

"No." I shake my head, not wanting her to carry the guilt of my parents’ death. It’s ironic, I know, considering that is exactly what I wanted last night. "They died because the Keans are murderers who manipulated a thirteen-year-old girl. That's not on you."

Tears fall over her cheeks, and this time, I can't stop myself from stepping closer. When she doesn't back away, hope blooms in my chest.

“It doesn’t change that I helped.” The guilt in her eyes mirrors my own, and I understand her struggle.

"I know what it's like," I say softly. "To wish you could change the past. You wish you didn’t show Ronan the passage…"

She nods.

“And I wish I’d told you how I really felt when I felt it instead of holding on to my anger.”

"I keep thinking about everything." Her eyes meet mine. "About us. About how real it felt, even when you were pretending."

"I stopped pretending a long time ago, Jenna." How can I make her understand that? I said horrible things. My initial intentions were rotten. But my feelings were always genuine.

Taking a breath, I step closer. The space between us crackles with electricity, memories of every kiss, every touch. "I fell in love with you, Jenna. Even if I tried to fight it. Even if I told myself it was just part of the plan." I look for a sign that she believes me, but I don’t think I see it. "Everything else might have started as a lie, but loving you? That's the most honest thing I've ever done."

I ache to pull her into my arms, to show her that despite everything, my heart beats only for her.

"I know I hurt you," I whisper. "I know I broke your trust. But I swear, Jenna, I will spend every day making it right if you'll let me."

"How can you not hate me? After everything I did…" She lowers her gaze as if she can’t meet my eyes. "I gave them the key to destroy your family. You lost your parents… everything because of me."

My heart shatters at the raw pain in her voice. Before I can stop myself, I cross the final space between us and cup her face in my hands. "Listen to me. I could never hate you. Never."

She tries to pull away, but I hold firm, gentle but insistent. "I came here wanting to hate you, believing I already did. But the woman I fell in love with? She's incapable of the kind of malice I imagined."

I cradle her face. "You were a child, Jenna. A child who thought she was impressing her crush. The Keans are the ones who twisted that innocence into something dark."

"But—”

"No." I press my forehead to hers, breathing in her scent of flowers. "I've spent ten years carrying hate in my heart. For the Keans. For the person I thought betrayed us. But you? The real you? There's no room for hate anymore. Only love."

Her hands come up to grip my wrists, but she doesn't push me away. "How can you be sure?"

"Because hating you would mean hating the best part of myself. The part that learned kindness and love."

My thumbs brush away her tears as I gaze into those green eyes that first captured my heart in the kitchen. "I want to be the man you deserve, Jenna.” My hand drifts to her stomach. "This baby… our baby… it's a miracle. When I lost my parents, I thought I'd never have a family. With you,onlywith you… I have a chance.” Just in case Ash and Phoenix get any ideas about me and Hannah O’Donnell.

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