Page 81 of House of Soot

"I know I fucked up. But when Ronan hit her, when he was about to kill her…" My fists clench at the memory. "I couldn't let her die."

"I've got a place upstate we can take them," Phoenix offers. "Remote location, private security. They'd be safe there while we deal with this mess."

I shake my head. "Her mother just had heart surgery. She can't be moved yet."

"Then we keep someone at the hospital and rotate security," Phoenix says decisively. "Once she's stable enough, we move them both."

“And just abandon your child?” Ash asks.

The guilt is about to pull me under. "They’ll have what they need. Just not me. I don't deserve either of them.”

"Blaise—” Phoenix starts, but I cut him off.

"What kind of man does what I did? What kind of father could I possibly be when I'm capable of such cruelty?"

"Bullshit." Ash’s voice reverberates off the walls. "The Keans are the monsters here, not you."

"I used her."

"To get justice for our family." Ash leans forward, his eyes blazing. "And the moment you realized she was innocent, you protected her. Hell, you took a bullet for her tonight."

"That doesn't erase what I did."

"No, but it proves you're nothing like them." Ash stands over me. "You have every right to that baby, to happiness with her if you can earn it back. Don't let the Keans take another thing from you."

I narrow my eyes at him. This is a change from the man who is always talking about how love only brings misery.

"She won’t ever forgive me.”

"So, what? You're just going to give up? Hide her away somewhere and pretend that child isn't yours?"

"I'm giving her what she deserves, freedom from the man who broke her trust." I look up at him, willing him to stop pushing this. "She trusted me, Ash, gave herself to me completely. And I used that trust to try to destroy her."

"You fell in love with her. That's not destruction. That's redemption."

"Love doesn't excuse what I did." I press my fingers against my temples. "She deserves someone better."

Ash glances at Phoenix, who shrugs. Good, maybe they’ll finally let this topic go.

"I need someone to watch over her while she’s here. I promised she wouldn’t have to see me again. Can you do it, Ash?”

Ash's face darkens. "I'm not a fucking babysitter, Blaise. You want me to sit around watching your pregnant girlfriend while you do what? Blubber?—”

“Ash,” Phoenix chastises.

"She needs protection.”

"Then hire security." Ash stalks away to find his drink. “Just because I watched Lucy for Flint doesn’t make me the family babysitter. I'm not spending my time playing guardian angel to the woman who helped destroy our family."

“Someone needs to protect her. Plus, she's pregnant.”

"Which is your problem, not mine."

Phoenix steps between us before I can respond. "Ash, it would only be temporary. Until we can move her and her mother somewhere secure." He gives me a pointed look. "A few days at most. We need someone we can trust, and you're the best choice right now."

"The best choice?" Ash scoffs. "Because what?—”

“Because of your effervescent personality,” Phoenix quips. “Just help Blaise out. We need a few days to regroup now thatthe Keans know at least one Ifrinn is alive and are looking for him and maybe Jenna.”

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