Page 67 of House of Soot

"Not everything." The words slip out before I can stop them. Damn it. Even now, I can't maintain the cold façade I need.

"Really?" She wipes blood from her lip, eyes blazing. "Which part was real? When you seduced me? When you took my virginity? Or when you made me fall in love with you just to get to Ronan?"

I don’t like how her accusations feel, which is crazy considering it’s all true. I achieved what I set out to do. But instead of feeling victorious, I feel like shit.

“All to make me pay for something I did as a child. Well, congratulations, you succeeded."

“That thing you did as a child killed my family. It killed nearly a dozen of the staff who worked here. Staff you knew. Do you really not see that?”

“How could I have known?” She shakes her head and pushes past me.

"Jenna—”

“Don’t. You're just like him." Her words cut deep. "Using me. Making me think someone could actually love me. God, I'm such an idiot."

"You think I manipulated you?" I advance on her, fury burning away any lingering tenderness. "What about how you led killers right to my family?"

"I didn't know!" Jenna backs up against a wine rack. "I was just a stupid kid with a crush.”

"And that makes it okay?" My voice rises, echoing off the stone walls. "Your schoolgirl fantasy was worth my parents' lives?"

Her eyes seem to show remorse, but she hasn’t once said she’s sorry. "Please, I never meant?—”

"Never meant what?" I slam my palm against the rack beside her head, making her jump. "Never meant for them to die? Never meant to help murderers into our home? Tell me, Jenna, what exactly did you think would happen when you showed Ronan the secret passage?"

Tears stream down her face, but I won’t be swayed by them. "He said he just wanted to see me. That we could spend time together?—"

"And you believed him. He was seventeen years old. Did you really think he’d be interested in a kid?" Disgust coats my words. "So eager for attention, you never stopped to question why he finally showed an interest. Just like with me."

"That's different." Her chin lifts defiantly. "What we had was real. I felt it."

"Did you?" I lean closer, using my height to intimidate her. "Or did you just want it to be real so badly, you ignored all the warning signs? Again."

She flinches like I've struck her. Good. Let her hurt like I've been hurting for ten years.

"Your desperation for love got my parents killed." The words tear from my throat, harsh and raw. "Your blind trust in the Keans destroyed my family. And you're still defending them!"

"I was thirteen!" She shoves against my chest, surprising me with her strength. "They took care of me, gave me a home when I had nothing. What was I supposed to think?"

"You were supposed to think about someone besides yourself for once." The bitterness I've carried for years pours out. "But you couldn't even do that, could you? Not then, not now."

She sags into the rack like all the air has left her. "I just wanted him to like me. He was the only person who ever noticed me besides my mom. Who made me feel special."

My hand tightens around the gun at my side. I shouldn't care about her pain. I've waited ten years to make her suffer like this.

She lifts her gaze to me. "I didn't know what they were going to do. I swear, Blaise. I thought… I thought maybe we'd meet in secret, like in the stories my mom used to read me. I never imagined…"

She wraps her arms around herself, rocking slightly. "When the fire happened, they told everyone it was an accident. That the Ifrinns died in their sleep. That the Keans were heroes for honoring the Ifrinns by rebuilding and taking care of the surviving staff afterward."

I really want to hate her, need to hate her. But watching her fall apart, I see the child she was. Lonely, naive, desperate for connection. Just like I've been these past weeks with her.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, the words catching on a sob. "I'm so sorry. If I'd known… if I'd understood what Ronan really was… God, what have I done?"

Her genuine remorse cuts deeper than any calculated manipulation could. It would be easier if she were truly evil, if she'd known exactly what she was doing when she betrayed my family. Instead, she was just a foolish girl who made a terrible mistake, one that destroyed both our lives.

I hear commotion upstairs and know that we’re running out of time. I have to get my shit together. I can’t let my emotions take over now.

Reality crashes back and I realize that I've failed. Not only did I miss my shot at Ronan, but I've blown my cover completely. Any second now, Kean soldiers will swarm this cellar to kill me. And Jenna too.

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