Page 52 of House of Soot

I strive to hold on to resentment, but it's hard when her mother is so understanding. If her own mother isn’t pissed, what right do I have to be upset?

"She's never had the chance to live for herself," Mrs. Hart continues. "Never traveled, never dated, until you. I used to think it was sweet how she pined after Ronan, but also sad. We all knew nothing would come of it, her included. But it was a way for her to have a little romance in her life.”

I turn into the hospital parking lot, not sure how to respond to her.

"The way she lights up when she talks about you…" Mrs. Hart's knowing look makes me shift uncomfortably. "It's the first time I've seen her choose something for herself."

Now I’m the asshole. Because she hasn't chosen, not really. I've manipulated her, seduced her, all while planning to break her heart. And for what? Revenge against a woman who was only thirteen years old when her actions led to my parents’ death. Does she even know what she did?

“I’m happy for her that she has you. And I’m happy for you that you have her.”

I swallow hard, unable to meet her eyes. She is being completely honest and sincere. And I have to admit that Jenna is too. She doesn’t know the real me, but I have no doubt she loves me. She never hides it. She sees me and it’s like the sun lights up her face. Whatever I throw at her, she takes it. I treated her badly at the hotel, and she ended up seeking to comfort me from whatever demon had possessed me.

For the first time since I started this mission, I'm not sure I can go through with it.

I push my doubts away as I help Mrs. Hart check in at the hospital reception.

My phone vibrates, a message from Jones wondering where I am. I silence it. I’ll come up with an excuse for my absence later.

"You don't have to stay," Mrs. Hart says, easing into a wheelchair. "I know you have work."

I do have work. And my brothers are counting on me to carry out our mission. But leaving Mrs. Hart alone feels wrong. "I can spare a few minutes."

As we wait for the pre-op nurse, I do what I can to make her comfortable. She must be scared to death. If someone were going to crack my chest open and take my heart out, I’d be fucking terrified.

"You're hovering," Mrs. Hart says with a weak smile. "Just like Jenna does."

The comparison makes me flinch. Because Jenna hovers out of love, while I… what am I doing here? Playing the devoted boyfriend while plotting to break her daughter's heart? No. It’s more than that, and that’s a problem. I’m too enmeshed with Jenna and her mother.

A nurse appears and begins the process of preparing Mrs. Hart for surgery.

“You don’t need to stay.” Mrs. Hart takes my hand. “In fact, I’d rather you be with Jenna. This is so hard for her.”

I nod.

“And will you look out for her… in case I don’t make it?—”

“You’ll make it.” If I have to take on God himself, Mrs. Hart will make it.

“Jenna is a smart woman, but she’s been sheltered. She’ll be alone if this doesn’t work. Promise me you’ll look after her.”

“I promise.” The words leave my lips before I can think. The scariest part is that they’re not said to be deceitful. At that moment, they are sincere.

But if I’m to keep my promise, I’ll need to break one I made to my brothers.

21

JENNA

My stomach lurches again and I bolt for the bathroom. After emptying what little remains in my stomach, I splash cold water on my face. The mirror shows dark circles under my eyes, worry etched into every feature. Mom has to make it through this surgery. She's all I have left.

Guilt mixes with the nausea. I should have taken her to the hospital. But how? If I get fired, how can I take care of her?

My phone buzzes against my hip, and I fumble to pull it from my pocket.

Your mom is heading to surgery. She’s in good spirits.

Blaise’s text loosens the knot in my stomach just a fraction. I type back with trembling fingers.

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