Page 51 of House of Soot

“I’m pretty lucky to get a heart so fast.”

“I guess the universe knows it needs you.”

She laughs. “I don’t know about that.” She pauses for a moment. “I suspect someone got me bumped up the list.”

“Huh.” I act nonchalant.

She puts her hand on my shoulder. “It had to have been you.”

"I don't know what you mean." I shift in my seat, avoiding her knowing gaze. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because I don’t want her to view me as some hero. After all, I’m planning on breaking her daughter’s heart.

"Please. I've been on that list for two years. When I was last in the hospital, they said the prospects weren’t good that I’d last long enough. You were at the hospital then too. I may be dying, but I'm not stupid."

I shrug. "The doctor found a match. I understand that it’s not just who’s next on the list, but who is a good match biologically and all that."

“Hmm.” She’s not convinced. “Well, thank you. Not many men would go to those lengths for their girlfriend's mother."

The gratitude in her voice makes my chest tight.

She studies my profile. "You seem troubled. Is it because I’ve figured out your secret?”

For a moment I tense, wondering if she’s realized who I am. This woman is too perceptive. "It's complicated."

"Life usually is." She sighs.

"She should be here," I growl, unable to hide my disgust at Jenna choosing the Keans over her mother. "Her mother needs her, and she's choosing to stay and arrange flowers for the Keans."

"You don't understand what that place means to her." Mrs. Hart's voice is soft but firm.

“It means more than you?” I glance at her, dumbfounded at her defense of Jenna.

“No. It doesn’t. But it’s the only home she's ever known."

"It's just a house."

"No, it's her whole world." Mrs. Hart shifts in her seat, wheezing slightly. "She was born in that cottage. Her father worked for the family who lived there before.”

She’s talking about my family.

“Jenna learned to walk in those gardens. When her father died protecting the estate, she was barely old enough to remember him. But she remembers following me around while I tended those flowers, learning their names, their seasons."

The mention of Jenna's father catches my attention. I hadn't known he died protecting my family's estate. Another layer of complexity I don't want to deal with.

"Still doesn't make it right," I mutter.

"Maybe not. But Jenna's never stepped foot outside that property except for school and occasional errands. She's never had another job, never lived anywhere else." Mrs. Hart's eyes areknowing when they meet mine. "It's easy to judge when you have options. My daughter thinks she doesn't, and I suppose right now, she’s right. What would happen to me if we don’t have a home and healthcare? That’s what she’s thinking about."

I don’t like how my feelings are turning wishy-washy again. How knowing that Jenna’s world has been so small and sheltered that she’s trapped by it. That her loyalty to the Keans may not be about her crush on Ronan but simply a function of not knowing any other life.

"She deserves better from them," I say, noting my anger has drained from my voice.

"Yes, she does." Mrs. Hart reaches over to pat my shoulder again. "Maybe you'll be the one to show her that."

For a moment, I imagine it. I imagine being on the estate back in Ifrinn control. Of Jenna by my side, day and night. Her mother healthy, helping with grandkids.

Good God, what the hell am I thinking?

"I worry about her." Mrs. Hart’s words help push away images I shouldn’t have about a future I don’t want. "She's spent her whole life taking care of others. First helping me in the gardens when she was little, then caring for me when I got sick."

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