Page 47 of House of Soot

I stroke her hair, hating how natural it feels to comfort her. How right she fits against me. My brothers would be disgusted if they could see me holding the enemy close instead of crushing her. But that's the problem, I realize. I don't see an enemy when I look at Jenna anymore. I see a woman with a gentle soul and fierce love for her family.

Just like I loved mine.

Except… My parents are dead because of her. Because she helped Ronan Kean get to them. No amount of sweetness or vulnerability can erase that betrayal.

I tighten my hold on her, torn between wanting to protect her and wanting to make her pay. Between the mission I swore to complete and these unwanted feelings growing stronger by the day. Something is going to give, and I’m worried what will happen when it does.

Jenna returns to her mother’s side when I assure her that I’ll wait. As the time passes slowly, I sit to rest, but I can't sleep. The hospital chair digs into my back as memories of earlier tonight flood my mind. Jenna's soft skin under my hands at the hotel, her breathy moans against my neck, the way she arched into me.

"I love you," she'd whispered.

I scrub my hands over my face, trying to erase the image of her trusting eyes, her complete surrender. When I first seduced her, it was calculated, each touch designed to make her fall for me so I could destroy her later. Now I crave touching her, not for revenge, but for the pure pleasure of being with her.

The way she gasps my name. How she clings to me afterward, pressing lazy kisses to my chest. The smile that lights up her whole face when I walk into a room.

Fuck. The guilt churns in my gut. Either I'm the world's biggest asshole for enjoying intimacy with someone I plan to destroy or I'm betraying my family by developing real feelings for the girl who helped kill our parents.

There's no winning here. No way this ends well for either of us.

A doctor walks by, and I hurriedly move to intercept him. “Mrs. Hart. What’s going on with her?”

“You are?”

“Her son. My sister is with her now.” The lie comes easily. If only I could lie to myself, I could tell myself that Jenna is a monster who needs to be destroyed and believe it.

The doctor glances at his chart, his expression grim. "Her heart is failing rapidly. The medications aren't working as effectively anymore."

"How long?" They’re not just waiting for her to die, are they?

The doctor's hesitation tells me everything. "Without a transplant… a few months. Her condition is deteriorating faster than we anticipated. She’s on the transplant list, but there are many in front of her.”

“How do we move her up?”

He arches a brow. “There’s no official way. Those before her get a heart or… some may pass, but?—”

"There has to be something else you can do."

"We're doing everything we can. I'm sorry." He turns to walk away, but I can’t let him go. I know what it’s like to lose parents. I want my revenge on Jenna, but not like this.

“What would it take to have something unofficial?”

“There is no unofficial route.”

“There’s always an unofficial route,” I say, leaning in closer. “I work for Hampton Kean, who’s fond of Mrs. Hart.”

“Wait, I thought you said you were?—”

“I have money, if that’s what it takes. But you’ll make this happen…” I let the threat hang. If this gets back to Hampton, I’m fucked. Maybe I should tell him who I really am, but the Ifrinns are all but forgotten. The name doesn’t carry the weight that it used to.

The fear in his eyes tells me he understands what I’m saying.

“Even if I could move her up the list, you never know when a heart will come available.”

"Mrs. Hart gets priority. You pull every string, call in every favor, I don't care what it takes." My fingers dig into his whitecoat. "Because if anything happens to her, if Jenna has to watch her mother die?—”

"I understand." He nods frantically.

"Good." I release him with a shove. "And Doctor? This conversation never happened.”

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