Page 86 of House of Soot

"I don't know." Tears spill down my cheeks. "Everything's such a mess. I… it’s my fault the Ifrinns died.” It’s the first time I fully acknowledge my part. No, I didn’t know what Ronan had planned. But Ash is right, my actions helped destroy the Ifrinn family. No wonder Blaise wanted to hurt me.

“What? No.”

“I didn’t mean to. I didn’t know…” I let out a sob. “But I showed Ronan the passageway into the house. He set the fire.”

"Oh, honey, you were just a child."

"But people died, Mom. Mr. and Mrs. Ifrinn were good to us after Dad died, and I—" My voice breaks. "I trusted the wrong person."

"Like you trusted Blaise?"

"He lied to me."

"Did he?" Mom's voice grows stronger. "He got me a heart transplant, Jenna. He made sure I had the best care. Those aren't the actions of someone just playing a part."

"He wanted to hurt me. I can see why now, but?—”

"Maybe at first. But people change. Plans change." She pauses. "Feelings change."

Does she know something I don’t? Why is she so easily taking the Ifrinn side? “Have you seen him?”

“No. Phoenix came last night. Oh, my goodness, Jenna. He’s a strong, capable man, like his father. I remember them all being so young. And here they are, fully grown men. Alive and well. I’m happy about that.”

“They planned to kill Ronan?—”

“Who killed their parents and some of the people we knew, if you remember.”

I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Why not put them in jail? Why all this killing and manipulation?”

There’s a long pause. “I thought you’d have figured out by now how the Keans operate… how the Ifrinns did. They live by a different set of laws. The Keans haven’t been arrested probably because they pay people in law enforcement to protect them. The boys’ only recourse is to take back what was stolen. And if your father were alive, he’d be helping them.”

Deep down, I knew that. Isn’t that why I didn’t call 9-1-1?

"I'm scared, Mom. I don’t know who to trust."

"I don’t blame you, but isn’t Ronan the one who tried to kill you and Blaise the one who saved you?”

“He had to hate me so much to do this.”

“Yes, he did. But then he met you, learned the truth of you, and you stole his heart. Flint here has been telling me just how much Blaise is torn apart by his actions.”

"I don't know what to do."

My mother’s voice softens. "You don't have to decide anything right now. A lot has happened in the last twenty-four hours. You need to take care of yourself and the baby first.”

“I’m in a safehouse. They won’t let me leave.”

“Don’t leave, Jenna. No matter what you feel about Blaise, let the boys protect you until I can leave.” My mother’s voice is different from anything I’ve heard before. She sounds more like the Keans and Ifrinns. Like she knows their world. I suppose she does. She just never gave me the details about it.

"I've sheltered you too much," Mom says with a sigh. "After your father died, I was so afraid of losing you too. I kept you close, kept us both working on the estate where it felt safe."

"You were protecting me."

"Maybe too much. You were so young when you lost your father. Then the fire…" Her voice trails off. "I convinced myself that staying with the Keans was best. That we needed the security. Especially once you got my job, I figured you’d be safe and happy in that bubble. I can see now that I was wrong to keep the truth from you.”

Once again, I feel my world tilting on its axis.

“But you’re a strong, intelligent woman. Plus, you're going to be a mother yourself. It's time for you to make your own choices without worrying about what I think or need."

---