Page 78 of House of Soot

“Fucking hell, Ash.” Phoenix shakes his head at him.

“What? Am I wrong? They’ll be looking for her. She’ll lead them right to her mother.”

Blaise walks closer to me but thankfully doesn’t try to sit with me. “He’s right. Ronan knew, just as I did, that you’d be at the cottage. Your next stop would be your mother. When they find Ronan in the cottage, they’ll think?—”

“Everyone thinks I’m a killer?” It makes no sense to me how Blaise and now the Keans blame me for their stupid games.

“You’re stuck in the middle, and I’m sorry for that. But you won't be able to see your mother until she's stronger and we can move her to a safer place.”

The tenderness in his tone makes my heart ache. Even now, after everything, his concern feels genuine. A part of me wants to lean into that comfort, but I can't forget how easily the lies fell from his lips before.

"She'll be scared when she learns what happened.”

"Flint will make sure she knows you're safe." Blaise takes a step toward me, then stops when I stiffen. "I promise, as soon as she's strong enough to travel?—”

"Your promises don't mean much right now." The words come out sharper than I intend, but I can't take them back. Not when they're true.

His face falls, and for a moment I glimpse real pain in his eyes. It mirrors my own hurt, and that shared understanding only makes this harder. How can I hate him when he looks at me like that? When he took a bullet protecting me? When he's trying to keep both me and my mother safe? God, it’s all so confusing.

"Are you hungry?" he asks, changing the subject. "You should eat something."

I turn away. "I just want to be alone.” I glance over at Phoenix, who I’ve been able to determine is the leader. “Is there a place for me to lie down?”

“I’ll show you,” Blaise says.

I’m too tired to insist on someone else showing me, so I let Blaise guide me down a narrow hall to a bedroom.

My skin prickles with awareness as he closes the door behind us. The space feels too intimate, too reminiscent of other private moments we've shared.

"Is it true?" His voice comes out rough. "What you told Ronan about being pregnant?"

My hand instinctively moves to my stomach as I sag down on the bed. I could lie, tell him it was just a desperate plea to save my life. The words hover on my tongue. But I’m not like him. I won’t be cruel, but neither will I spare him the reality of what he’s ruined.

"Yes." I lift my chin, meeting his gaze.

He takes a step toward me. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you didn’t want to listen to me. Instead, you told me to get Ronan. Should I have told you when you pulled a gun on him? Or maybe when you were telling me how you’d seduced me to break my heart?"

His eyes close for a moment, and I hope the shame I think I see is as deep as an abyss. “Jenna?—”

"Don't." I hold up my hand. "You don't need to pretend to care now. I can handle this on my own. I've been taking care of myself and my mother for years. One more person won't make a difference."

His face twists with something that looks like pain, but I can't trust that anymore, can't trust any of it. The tenderness in his eyes, the way his hands flex like he wants to reach for me, it’s all suspect now.

"If you never loved me, if it was all just part of your revenge plan, then consider yourself free of any obligation." My voice only shakes a little. "I don't want anything from you."

"You don't get to decide that for both of us." Blaise steps closer, his presence filling the small room. "Not when I've spent weeks fighting my feelings, telling myself they weren't real when they are, Jenna."

I lean away from him, wishing he’d disappear. "Stop. I can't handle more lies."

"I'm done lying." His voice drops low, intense. "I came here wanting revenge. I blamed you for betraying my family to the Keans. But I was wrong."

"How can I believe anything you say?"

"Because fighting my feelings for you nearly destroyed me. Every time you smiled at me, every moment we shared, made it harder to hold onto that hatred."

“You didn’t have that much trouble in the wine cellar tonight.” God, was that tonight? This night seems to be never ending.