“Sit,” he said, jerking his chin toward the breakfast nook along the windows, the city lights glowing against the dark night sky outside.
Knowing I wouldn’t win this battle, I sank into one of the chairs, resting my elbows on the table and dropping my face into my hands, feeling exposed. He knew. He knew what I’d been hiding, how I coped when the nightmares got to be too much.
And now, the gunshots and screams from tonight still echoed through my head, too.
Even with Adler there, curling his body around me, I’d been afraid I’d die. It was a wake-up call. I’d been living in a bubble of pain and anger and fear and resentment for the past four years. I’d let the man who’d kidnapped me keep control over me even while he was in prison. I’d swung between being numb or trying to numb that host of emotions dogging me.
And then there was Adler. Something had changed between us today, even before the club. But the shooting had pushed things even further.
I wanted to live. Really live. And I wanted a partner in my life. If Adler wouldn’t be that partner…I’d find one. Marigold wasn’t wrong. I never went out. I was always alone—at least as far as she saw things. Sure Adler was with me, but… But I was alone. Lonely.
Tears burned my eyes. I had to face it. I was tainted. He didn’t want me after what had happened to me. Someone else…they wouldn’t know the extent of my trauma. But Adler was the one who rescued me. He was there. He was the one who took me to the doctor, who helped me through testing and making sure I wasn’t pregnant. He was the rock at my side through it all.
But he also knew the details. He knew it all. I was stained. Abused by Rod. Messed up in the head afterward.
The men Marigold had mentioned… They wouldn’t know all that. But I didn’t want some random guy.
I glanced over at Adler, my eyes scanning over his sculpted ass while he bent to look into the fridge then pull out food. He was who I wanted.
But you didn’t always get what you desired, did you?
Aside from my messed up past, he was married to his job. Not just watching me, but also running his agency that protected people all over the country. He was always networking and supervising, making the best connections between his personal protection agents and the people they would protect.
I almost laughed. Maybe, I could get him to connect me with someone. My lips twitched, and I swiped away the wetness from under my eyes. It was ridiculous for me to be morose. I was alive, wasn’t I? And with my sister’s help, maybe I could get my mind off my obsession—or erase him from my desires completely.
A plate slid in front of me, and I blinked at the bowl of tomato soup and the melty grilled cheese, perfectly golden and cut in half diagonally. How…?
I glanced up at Adler as he dropped into the chair across from me, his own plate in front of him. God, I must have really been lost in my thoughts. I hadn’t even realized he’d cooked…or that enough time had passed for him to make this.
I picked up my spoon, skimming it along the top of the steamy soup.
“What do you think of Marigold’s idea?” I asked.
His eyes narrowed and his lips pinched into a thin line. His nostrils flared as he looked at his food and picked up his spoon. “Do you want to date the guys she mentioned?”
I shrugged then set down my utensil, without so much as sipping my soup. “I want to datesomeone. She’s not wrong. I’m alone all the time. I’mlonely.Even just going to these events and talking to people would be nice.”
“You’ll look gorgeous. The men will be on you like flies,” he grumbled, his own silverware clattering onto the plate.
“I doubt it.”
A muscle ticking in his clenched jaw, he broke a corner off his sandwich. “Well, you’re wrong. If you want to know the truth, I don’t like her idea of trying to dangle you in front of those assholes like fresh meat.”
I licked my lips, thinking. “If you don’t want me to go alone, you could always be my escort, you know?”
“Me? Right,” he scoffed.
“Why not? Adler, I know you have money. I know you don’t need thisjob. You’ve made a small fortune with your company. You’d fit in with the gala crowd better than I would.”
“A large fortune, actually, not that it matters.”
“No, it doesn’t. Not to me. You know I don’t care about that stuff. Neither of us are really part of that culture.” Me less than Adler. He’d blend right in, like a real life James Bond infiltrating a super-villain’s party. “You could rub elbows with the who’s who, and make new contacts. Besides, if you escort me, you could vet any of the men who approach me. If you wanted to do that for me. As a favor. You’ll have to be there, anyway, to keep me safe. As my bodyguard—unless you assign one of your guys. So why not? Two birds. One gala.”
“Or a dozen.” He shook his head, his eyes on the sandwich he was pulling apart, hiding his thoughts from me. He popped a piece of the grilled cheese into his mouth. “You should eat.”
“Adler…”
“Eat and I’ll think about it.”