Page 66 of Stolen Magic

She nodded, drawing her knees closer. “I thought it would get better once I found my place here and Callan and I drew closer.”

My heart stuttered at the mention of him, invoking all the cherished memories that only I carried from our time together, the things I missed about him that we would never experience together again—each tender word, the ghost of his touch, the warmth in his gaze from a time he no longer remembered.

I kept my expression neutral so as not to betray my treacherous feelings.

“It appeared as though you were adjusting well,” I said carefully. “That you and His Highness were enjoying your time together.”

The jealousy I fought continuously surged anew, a silent betrayal I loathed myself for. I sincerely wanted her to be happy, but my earnest desire didn’t make the envy disappear.

She sighed. “I believe we’ve become friends. But no matter how hard I try, it hasn’t become anything more. I keep wondering if something’s wrong with me.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you,” I said at once. There was no one more deserving of love than her.

She gave me a tired smile. “You’re kind to say so. I do admire Callan—he’s steady, thoughtful, and deeply good. I hoped, in time, something deeper might grow between us. But it’s been months now, and though there’s affection…it’s like trying to plant seeds in winter soil; nothing has taken root.”

I said nothing, not trusting myself to speak without revealing too much.

She looked away, her voice quieter now. “I know that marriage is often about duty more than love and have accepted that, but part of me still wonders whether I’m allowed to hope for more.”

Her gaze returned to mine, and for a moment, it felt as though she could see straight through me, as if she could peer into my heart to see the secrets buried there.

Though I’d confessed the truth of my deception, I hadn’t shared the full details of how our fake courtship had unfolded, how real it had become for me, and just how much I had grown to love the man I had shared it with. I wasn’t sure how much to protect her…but with the softness in her eyes, I realized she was inviting me to confide in her.

The silence stretched between us, and Gwen turned her gaze back to the gardens below. I followed her line of sight and my heart gave a traitorous leap—Callan walked the cobblestone path alongside a visiting diplomat, his head bent in quiet conversation. I had thought I’d grown used to him haunting the edges of every thought, but even from this distance, the sight of him made my chest ache.

“I don’t think I can do this.” I didn’t realize I had spoken aloud until the words had already escaped. Gwen said nothing, but I felt her watching me with a quiet, knowing look—not unkind, simply accepting, another invitation to be brave and trust her.

Because of the relationship we’d rekindled from the ashes of my betrayal, I knew now that I could.

I stared down at my hands nervously twisting in my lap. “For as much as I care for you and for everything our friendship means to me, I don’t think I’m strong enough to remain in your service, not for what it costs my heart. Every time I see him, it feels like something inside me is unraveling. I thought I could be selfless enough to bear it, but I’m not.”

I paused, waiting for her to condemn me, but her silence urged me to continue. The words spilled faster now, as if I could no longer hold them back.

“I thought I could be honorable and watch your romance from a distance and accept the life you and he are building together. But I can’t help thinking about the day you’ll marry, the day your first child is born, the life you’ll share…and I don’t know if I’m strong enough to watch it unfold. As much as I long for your happiness, it’s agony. I know my pain isn’t your fault or his, nor am I asking anything of you. I just thought you deserved the truth.”

Another silence followed, long and heavy. I couldn’t bring myself to look at her, afraid at the emotion I might find in her eyes, that my honesty would ruin the fragile bond we were carefully trying to rebuild.

When she eventually spoke, her voice came softly. “How do you feel about him?” There was no accusation in her tone, just the chance to unlock the last door in my guarded heart.

I took a wavering breath and met her eyes. “I love him, Gwen.”

The confession was barely more than a whisper, as if the words themselves were a delicate spell I knew would change everything. “For your sake, I wish I didn’t, but even though I know I shouldn’t feel this way I do, and I hate myself for it.”

The air around us trembled with everything left unspoken. When the silence grew unbearable, I finally summoned enough courage to glance at her. To my surprise, Gwen didn’t appear angry, merely pensive, as if turning something heavy over in her mind.

Her lips parted, as if there was something she wanted to say but wasn’t sure how. Instead, she reached for my hand and threaded her fingers through mine—a habitual gesture that had started months ago as part of a carefully crafted ploy, but somewhere along the way, it had become real. Now, I trusted her without hesitation.

Gwen’s hand remained wrapped around mine, her touch soothing as her thumb brushed across the back of my hand, as if to soothe the tremble I hadn’t realized had crept into my fingers.

The sun had dipped lower, casting long shadows across the floor, but still she said nothing, the silence stretching until I feared I had shattered everything between us beyond repair. But if that were true, she wouldn’t still be holding my hand, the tenderness of her touch reminiscent of the way my mother used to comfort me that only made the guilt twist tighter in my chest.

At last she spoke, her voice a hush in the enfolding stillness. “Love is a beautiful emotion that should be celebrated. You cannot betray me from how you feel.” Her tone was calm and measured, carefully restrained so that I couldn’t tell what she truly felt.

My throat tightened. “You should hate me, especially after everything I’ve done.”

“I could never hate you,” she said gently. “Callan is a good man. I know the time you spent together changed you. I’m glad he could be there for you during a time when you had no one else, offering you the healing and love that you deserve.”

Tears blurred my vision. “But whatever he gave me came at the expense of betraying your trust. I’ve already done so much wrong. I stole from you once and broke your trust, I cannot bear to relive my past mistakes and become someone so twisted by grief and longing I don’t recognize myself again.”

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