Page 30 of Quest

Determined to win the challenge my lantern had posed, I tried to redirect my focus to the uneven ground beneath my feet or the distant peaks that framed the horizon. Yet my eyes betrayed me, drawn irresistibly back to Prince Darcel, lingering on the sweat that traced paths down his chest, each drop a tantalizing distraction.

With every step the struggle grew: the battle to keep my gaze averted, the effort to still the fluttering in my chest, and the constant nagging fear that my feelings would somehow reveal themselves, betraying not just my identity but the depth of my unspoken affections.

Kael eventually added a new worry to my consuming thoughts, his sideways glance in my direction shrewd. “Aren’t you going to take your shirt off too?”

The innocent question shattered my previous sense of security in my belief that our interaction in the lake hadn’t exposed my true identity, as if I needed another burden midst my current of weakness. “I’m not hot,” I panted, fighting to ignore the dropping sweat that stung my eyes, contradicting my insistences.

He smirked. “You’re rather modest for aman.”

My heart flared. I instinctively wrapped my arms around my body like a shield, as if to add an extra layer of protection to my feminine body. The situation grew more dire when his observation drew Prince Darcel’s attention. He slowed, falling back to match my pace so he could better peer into my face.

“You don’t look so good. Perhaps we should stop to rest.”

“I’m fine,” I managed breathlessly. The next flat area where the trail evened out wasn’t too far off. I kept my gaze locked on it, focusing on putting one exhausted foot in front of another.

He sighed. “You’re not fine. There’s no shame in resting early?—”

I suddenly tripped over an overgrown root and he instinctively grabbed me to keep me from falling, pulling my body against his and allowing me to feel every firm contour of the chest I’d previously only been able to admire from afar. My breath caught.

My first instinct was to pull away, but I couldn’t move, trapped as a willing prisoner in his embrace, his hand loosely holding mine to keep me steady. There was nothing romantic about the gesture—I had often seen the boys in my neighborhood in such proximity during moments of training or playful wrestling—yet I felt not only vulnerable, but filled with an acute desire to snuggle closer.

Our gazes remained locked, his whirling with worry while mine seeped into his dark, soulful eyes. Heat rose to my cheeks, causing his brows to furrow.

“You really are quite flushed. I don’t want you getting heat stroke. Come to the shade.”

He tried to lead me to a copse of trees growing alongside the mountain but I yanked my hand from his with such force I nearly lost my balance again, forcing him to once more step closer to steady me.

He chuckled. “You’re not very coordinated, are you? It won’t help your cause in trying to win this battle with me—it’s only increasing my insistence that you take a moment to rest.”

I scarcely heard him, my mind whirling. Close, much too close. I could feel the cocoon created by his firm arms, almost hear his steady heartbeat. Bridging just a few inches would allow me to nestle against his skin and feel its gentle pulse against my cheek; I only resisted the temptation created by my irrationality with the knowledge that such proximity would expose my female body that my illusion spell had been unable to conceal.

“Ren? Are you alright?”

Mouth dry, I couldn’t answer him, trapped in this moment with him. My hands held his arms in an attempt to steady myself, while his chest directly in front of my gaze gave me full view of his muscles. They beckoned my touch, and unable to resist I found myself hypnotically tracing one.

He stiffened before jerking back with such force I nearly lost my uneven footing in his desperate speed to get away as if I’d burned him. “What are you doing?”

Mortification seized my breath. “I—” For a moment I couldn’t speak, simply staring in horror at his bewilderment as I scrambled for any excuse to explain myself. “I—I’m rather scrawny and was just admiring the efforts of your training, hoping one day I too could—” My fumbled words clogged my throat and I fell silent.

He continued to stare, his expression hardened to the stoic mask he’d worn when we’d first met.

“Then perhaps I can help you train sometime during our excursion, but next time make such a request in words, not in any untoward advances.” Without another word he hurried ahead, in his haste to get away entirely forgetting he had promised we could rest, as if my awkwardness made him suddenly desperate for distance. But while he could escape me physically, I couldn’t as easily escape the sight of his bare back that had been the cause of this most recent disaster.

This journey seemed to be as much about conquering the mountain within me as it was about reachingginsei-zan’ssummit. Whatever silent war that raged within my heart, it was one that after today I feared I’d already lost.

CHAPTER 13

The endurance rendered by the trek faded into oblivion, entirely eclipsed by mortification as I relived the scene that had just transpired between me and the prince in every horrific detail. I couldn’t believe sense had escaped me long enough for me to touch his chest. In that moment I’d seemed to possess no thought at all, so hypnotized by the vivid sight before me that I hadn’t been able to resist the siren’s call that seduced my fingers.

I repeatedly obsessed over the interaction, scrutinizing it from every angle. Regardless of my flimsy excuse, I was a commoner who had inappropriately touched our kingdom’s prince while masquerading as a man. If His Highness analyzed the exchange close enough, would he be able to unravel my disguise and discover my true identity?

Midst my agonizing internal battle I sensed my lantern’s bemused observation from where it swung attached to the handle of my satchel, and it occasionally felt the need to interject with its unhelpful commentary. “It shouldn’t matter what the prince thinks of you, considering technicallyRendoesn’t exist.”

Lumis was right. I stung at the reminder that no matter how deep my growing feelings towards the prince became, he couldn’t see my true self behind the illusion crafted by my disguise.

At first I naively hoped that Prince Darcel had been unbothered by my breach in etiquette, but I quickly noticed he seemed to be avoiding me. Whereas he’d previously frequently glanced back to check on me, now he seemed to be determinedly avoiding my eyes; whenever he happened to glance my way, it appeared as though he wasn’t really looking at me, as if I’d faded into the background as nothing more than part of the mountainous scenery.

I tried to soothe my worry with empty reassurances that the prince was simply performing his duties with his usual single-minded focus, but his distance became increasingly difficult to continue to ignore, especially when we finally took a much needed break after cresting the mountain’s first steep incline.

---