Page 56 of Quest

“Rather than altruistic efforts to refine my dashing character, I suspect this is a ploy to distract me from the fact that you’re still not holding your sword correctly—you appear as if you’re performing dance rather than fighting.”

Amidst her resulting scowl a playful spark lit her eyes as she adjusted her grip to an overly exaggerated position. “Since you’re obviously an expert in the feminine arts, enlighten me on how to make this dance more manly. Is this the proper way I should hold it?”

Her tone carried an emotion different from our usual banter, a hint of allure as she cast me an inviting glance, as if she’d intentionally used the incorrect position to draw me closer…an invitation I was desperate to accept.

My heart flared and I swallowed. “You still look too gentle. It’s not just about how you hold the sword but how you carry yourself. You’re a warrior, not a courtier.”

“I see.” She readjusted once again, her stance even more exaggerated than before. “Is this better?” Teasing filled her earnest tone, challenging me to correct her, while the mischievous glint lighting her eyes made it difficult to remember why fostering this closeness was a bad idea.

What had begun as a lighthearted exchange was turning dangerously compelling. As much I reveled in this dance of instruction and jest, with each passing moment my resolve wavered. I was supposed to be teaching her to maintain her disguise, but a reckless, foolish part of me yearned to see her drop the act entirely, to be simply Mei with no barriers between us.

With effort, I forced myself to step back. “Yes, exactly like that.” My voice caught slightly, causing her to frown, as if she sensed she’d pushed me to my limits.

Her response was a quick thrust, aimed with more precision than before, moving with a newfound confidence that almost caught me off guard. “You're proving to be a very effective instructor. There’s no hope for your humility. It’s only fair that I match your sincere efforts with some of my own.”

She took a position opposite me and squared her shoulders, though her execution was awkward and far too refined for the brutish persona she was supposed to embody. As I watched her attempt to mimic the aggressive stance I demonstrated, I felt a pang of guilt for enjoying this so much. Her efforts to adopt a rougher style were commendable, even as every falter and slight stumble was endearingly inept. Her cheeks flushed under my gaze, and for a moment, I caught a glimpse of Mei beneath Ren’s guise.

As we continued our training, I showed her a series of aggressive maneuvers, each a challenge to her inherent gracefulness. I found myself inventing reasons to correct her, each touch a spark that threatened to ignite the emotions rapidly spiraling beyond my control.

This blend of banter and instruction was a perilous game. With each passing moment, the lines blurred further between the roles we were supposed to play and the reality of our growing connection, tightening the bond that drew us closer not just in proximity but in spirit.

Caught between the duty to protect her and the growing desire to be near her, I struggled to maintain focus, to remember that there was still a guise to uphold and a mission to complete…an almost impossible task when the depth of feeling that lay beneath was becoming too difficult to ignore.

But then she looked up at me with her soulful brown eyes, her expression open and vulnerable, and all thoughts of pretense vanished. In that moment, the world narrowed down to the space between us. I lost track of everything except her hands in mine, the warmth spreading from her touch, our locked gazes. Time seemed to suspend, leaving us stranded in a bubble of mutual recognition.

An unexpected arrival suddenly shattered the spell. “Your Highness?” Jiang’s bewildered voice pierced the moment like one of his carefully aimed swords.

With a gasp I released Mei and staggered back to spin on our unexpected audience, which thankfully consisted only of Jiang…though he was still one intruder too many. Horror seized my breath, but I had no words in defense, no excuse forthcoming for why I had been touching Mei disguised as Ren in such a way.

Jiang’s expression was solemn as he stared at me. A tense, suffocating silence settled around us before he cleared his throat awkwardly and departed with a hasty bow and a troubled expression.

I yearned to call him back so I could properly explain, but no amount of fumbled words would provide an adequate explanation that wouldn’t betray Mei’s secret. Though humiliation burned my cheeks, I resisted my desperation’s temptation to correct the misunderstanding.

I could only imagine what he must be thinking, each scenario a hit to my male pride, but I would rather sacrifice it for the honor in keeping Mei’s secret…not to mention I didn’t like the idea of the others knowing she was a woman quite yet.

The moment I assured myself he was well out of earshot, I released a bitter curse. Part of me hoped I’d misunderstood my faithful guard’s mistaken assumption, but by Mei’s own show of horror I clearly had not. “I’m so sorry, Darcel.” She sounded near tears, and I immediately regretted my show of frustration.

“It’s not your fault.” It was mine for getting so carried away when I knew my comrades were so close, but when it came to Mei, I seemed to lose all sense.

“But it is. If I hadn’t deceived everyone…you should have told Jiang the truth, that I’m really?—”

I pressed a gentle finger to her mouth, silencing her words. “I couldn’t do that. Nothing will compel me to break your confidence.” I lightly traced her lips’ bewitching shape once before withdrawing.

For a long moment she stared up at me, eyes glassy with unshed tears, before it seemed she could no longer contain her suppressed sob. “Why are you so noble?”

My decision didn't stem from a sense of duty or honor; it was the only path my heart allowed. Protecting Mei was well worth even my best friend getting a drastically wrong idea; even so high a price seemed but a small one to pay for her sake.

The close call we'd just experienced coupled with our recent proximity compelled me to scrutinize the true nature of my complicated feelings, until there could be no question for what I felt for the brave, enigmatic woman who had become not just my companion and confidant, but the most precious person to me.

CHAPTER 22

Mei

During all the nights of this quest, none proved as agonizing as the one I endured now. I sat by the fire, having volunteered for the night watch since I knew sleep would be impossible, but my eyes spent more time on Darcel than scanning the trees around us.

His face was relaxed in sleep, unmarred by the tension that his duties and our shared deceit wrought upon him during the day. Beneath the veil of darkness, I allowed myself the liberty of gazing at him in unrestrained appreciation that the daylight hours denied me. This secret observation was a bittersweet torment, encompassed with my yearnings to explore the relationship that our constant audience and the perpetual threat of discovery forbade.

We had already been caught once. The memory of Jiang's bewilderment when he stumbled upon one of our unguarded moments—where training had given way to the exploration of our growing feelings—made my cheeks burn with embarrassment. Though he never mentioned what he’d witnessed, his repeated puzzled glances towards Darcel were telling. Darcel bore these looks with stoic resignation, a testament to his honor even amid the discomfort our situation had caused.

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