Page 53 of Quest

Darcel

This was torture of the worst kind.

I had naively assumed that once I’d accustomed myself to the idea of Ren’s true identity as a woman in disguise, I would be able to resume the quest as I had before, with the only complication being extra vigilance in protecting Mei’s secret. I had never had trouble keeping a confidence, so I could foresee no issues.

I couldn’t have been more mistaken. Whereas before she had simply been a background presence whom I occasionally looked out for and interacted with, now she entirely consumed me, distracting me from my purpose—continuously capturing my notice whenever she was near, and causing me to eagerly anticipate her presence when she wasn’t.

I knew I needed to be careful of how much attention I gave her—my looking out for her as the weakest member of our entourage had already drawn Kael’s notice and Jiang’s ire, and those previous distinctly familial protective instincts were nothing to those I experienced now. I found myself drawn to her, as if some sort of spell had been cast upon me, luring me beyond my control.

I groaned as I adjusted once again my position, my body angled to provide a protective barrier between Mei and the others. I struggled to reach the sleep that danced elusively just beyond my grasp, the task more difficult with just how close I now lay to Mei; the night had begun with our beds at a respectful distance but we’d both unconsciously moved closer throughout the night, our bodies drawn together by an unseen force.

Every time I closed my eyes, I saw her face when she revealed herself to me, turned up to mine with an expression of mingled fear and hope. Any time my eyes opened they immediately searched out her position from where she lay nearby, her blanket rising and falling with her breaths.

As the first grey hint of light illuminated our campsite, she rolled towards me and I saw that sleep had likewise eluded her. A quick glance showed me that Kael still slept, while Jiang’s back was momentarily turned to us as he poked at the fire.

I reached out to trace the line of her cheek, marveling at the softness of the skin where I’d grown accustomed to seeing stubble. I leaned a little closer to whisper to her, rewarded by the way she caught her breath at my proximity.

“Your disguise is still gone.” I curled my fingers around hers briefly before regretfully withdrawing. “Please don’t hide yourself from me anymore.”

Her expression drooped before she looked up again with wistful longing. “I have to,” she breathed, her words barely audible.

I bit my lip, unwilling to compromise her security, yet the idea of continuing this quest with her in her man’s form when I knew her true identity severed the last thread binding my fragile patience. I could no longer bear to interact with Mei while disguised as Ren, unsatisfied with the occasional glimpses I caught of her real self hidden beneath.

“I don’t think I can endure this charade any longer. Surely there’s a spell that allows you to keep your disguise for the others, but lets me see you as you truly are. For my sanity’s sake, Mei, let me keep you with me.” My voice was low and urgent, my plea laden with quiet desperation, and I saw her eyes soften.

She fell silent for a long moment, deep in thought, as if mentally sorting through the recipes she had meticulously cataloged in her mind, weighing each against the ingredients she had on hand with those that grew nearby.

“There is a recipe for that,” she finally responded, frowning slightly. “But it requires a condition to be met in order for it to work.”

I sat up eagerly. “What condition is that?”

She gestured for silence as Jiang glanced back with a furrowed brow. Once his attention shifted away, she subtly tipped her head towards the dense woods encircling the clearing. Swiftly, she slid from beneath her blanket, grabbed her satchel, and with a nonchalant nod to Jiang, she vanished into the trees.

I waited an impatient moment to make my following less obvious, before likewise standing and heading off in a different direction. Once out of view of the campsite I doubled back, making my way to where she waited.

I paused when I caught sight of her. Even in the still-dark of the early morning the graceful lines of her figure as she knelt on a mossy patch were beguiling, making me wonder yet again how I had never noticed before. I seated myself beside her as she rummaged through her bag, pulling out various herbs and bottles.

“There might be something I can try.” Her fingers danced over the labels, her brow furrowing in concentration. “This one enhances perception, but it’s too volatile for subtle magic. This one sharpens the senses, but it might make you too sensitive to light…”

Her knowledge unfolded like a map as she explained each option, each path branching into possibilities I had never imagined, deepening my awe at her vast knowledge that had allowed her to improvise during such a tense situation.

“You said there was a condition to the spell you want to try?”

She paused her preparations, biting her lip in visible worry. “I can’t disclose what this is, or the concoction might fail.” Her voice dropped to a murmur so faint it seemed she was speaking more to herself than to me. “This is the ultimate test.”

Whatever the mysterious nature of the spell, it didn’t lessen my resolve. No matter what requirements were demanded of me, I would meet them.

Mei’s gaze settled on a small, unassuming plant with delicate blue flowers nestled amongst the roots of a nearby tree. “This might work. It’s called mirage mallow. It possesses the ability to bend light, or in this case, perception. So long as—” Her words abruptly faltered and I didn’t press her, aware that the spell likely rested on following directions with the utmost care.

Together we gathered the required herbs, Mei instructing me on how to cut them without damaging their essence. The intimacy of our shared task, the closeness as we brushed against each other while reaching for the same branch or leaf, was both a thrill and a torment.

Mei ground the herbs with precise, practiced movements, adding them to a small pot of water she heated over a small fire. The concoction bubbled softly, releasing a fragrance that was both earthy and sweet.

“Close your eyes,” she instructed. I obeyed, tensing in anticipation, the air cool against my eyelids as she leaned close. I relaxed upon feeling the first caress of her fingers, gentle as she deftly applied the salve beneath my eyes. The touch of her skin against mine stirred something within me, deeper and much more profound than my previous feelings that had been solely friendship.

When I opened my eyes, the world seemed unchanged at first glance…but the moment I turned to Mei my breath caught in my throat. The illusion of Ren gradually faded before my eyes like mist at sunrise, revealing Mei in all her delicate beauty. Her features, once obscured, were now painfully clear and achingly familiar.

I reverently traced each one—from the gentle curve of her cheeks to the cascade of her dark hair framing her face that I dreaded the eventual necessity of eventually putting back up as part of her disguise. The disguise hadn’t done justice to the memory of her true form and beauty. Now that I knew Mei’s true identity I couldn’t unsee it.

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