Page 45 of Quest

As we set up camp a short distance away with Ren tentatively reinstated, the distance between him and the others stretched like an invisible chasm, a barrier erected by suspicion and fear. Despite there being no tangible evidence of deceit beyond his failure at the test of purity, I found myself grappling with a persistent unease, overshadowing the trust we had built. The constant battle between suspicion and trust left me exhausted.

My gaze lingered on him, tracing his movements as though I might catch a slip that could confirm my nagging doubts coalescing into a troubling picture in my mind. Could his frequent, unexplained absences—previously dismissed as necessary solitude or gathering herbs—hint at whatever treacherous secrets he harbored? Actions that had previously seemed innocent were now tainted with suspicion, contrasting sharply with the countless ways he had proven himself a vital asset throughout our journey.

I felt a pang of guilt for not affording him the benefit of the doubt I knew he deserved. Compelled by a sense of fairness, I struggled to reconcile the Ren I knew with these surfacing doubts—his commitment, his invaluable expertise, and the moments his quick thinking had saved us. These reflections helped temper my suspicions, though they didn’t dispel them entirely.

Midst my lingering reservation, a scene from yesterday I had all but forgotten returned to my recollection—Ren’s nervous confession that he had something important to tell me before circumstances had stolen the opportunity. My stomach tightened as I recalled his conflicted expression and his obvious relief when my injury had prevented his continuing. Whatever his confession had clearly been something important. Could it have been the secret that caused him to fail the grove’s test? If so, then it had never been his intention to keep it from me indefinitely.

Only speaking with him directly could reassure me. No matter how transformative it might be for our relationship, I was determined to uncover the truth, regardless of the cost.

CHAPTER 18

Mei

My comrades’ suspicious glances seemed to follow me wherever I went, monitoring my every move, a weight that somehow felt heavier than the pack I’d borne throughout our journey. It was easier to ignore Kael and Sir Jiang’s wariness, but though he didn’t treat me with as much coldness, Prince Darcel’s own scrutiny left me unsettled.

I didn’t resent him for his caution, especially considering he had already extended far more grace than I deserved. I found it ironic I’d failed a test of character after my repeated efforts to challenge the prince’s own since the beginning of our journey. As such these consequences were simply the justice due to me, rendered by the magic at work behind the scenes restoring balance.

There was no confusion in my mind why the grove had rejected me, considering my true identity and my initial reasons I’d embarked on this quest revolved around a lie, but what I didn’t understand was the reasoning for Prince Darcel’s defense. Whatever fragile friendship we’d forged seemed inconsequential to the damage a true traitor might render upon his kingdom, yet he’d defended me anyway, even without knowing the full story.

I glanced towards where he paced near the altar, his brow furrowed as he considered his next steps. I remained still and silent; there was nothing more I could say to defend myself than I already had, so I could only wait to see what the prince decided.

You know he’s going to insist on the truth.

I winced at Lumis’ voice, but at the same time I was ready to drop the burden of my pretense, to allow Darcel to see me as I was. For as much as I’d initially distrusted him for no substantial reason, he’d maintained his own despite the evidence against me to convince him otherwise. Such grace only deepened my regret in delaying revealing my true identity, a mistake I resolved to remedy at the earliest opportunity.

As if he’d been summoned by my silent wish, limping footsteps that had become intimately familiar sounded, approaching where I sat apart from the others, a distance symbolic of the distrust and tension created by my deceit. As always, my heart reacted to his presence. Instinctively I turned away, hoping the deepening dusk would conceal my heated blush until I could muster the courage to confess the reason behind it…though unfortunately averting my gaze only served to make me appear even more suspicious.

“Good evening, Darcel…Your Highness.” I hastily corrected my casual address, unsure of my standing after the events that had transpired at the altar.

He didn’t immediately return the greeting. My stolen peek revealed his solemn expression, illuminated by the lantern he held. My fingers instinctively reached towards my own sentient lantern, seeking its support in the conversation I both longed for and dreaded. Warmth spread as I took in the golden brushstrokes that caressed his features, a light that reached deep inside of me to illuminate the secret feelings tucked in the deepest crevices of my fluttering heart.

“Follow me.” Without another word he walked into the forest surrounding our camp.

I hesitated, acutely aware of what awaited me at the end of the path of where he was leading me. Despite his defense, I understood that Prince Darcel wouldn’t let the matter rest, bound by his role to investigate the secrets I harbored. I didn’t resent him for fulfilling his duty nor overlook the opportunity it offered for the long-overdue confession he deserved, but I still experienced trepidation about the inevitable repercussions that would surely follow.

With a shaky breath I picked up Lumis, who intuitively understood what illuminating power I would soon require. As we walked, our combined lights wove through the violet hues of encroaching twilight, casting shimmering specks along the path and across the trees, reminiscent of fireflies dancing in the night. Though the light guided our steps, I felt I was descending into the dark depths of uncertainty. Regardless of how our impending conversation unfolded, I knew it would irrevocably alter everything between us.

We stopped in a clearing that offered an unobstructed view of the sky. I tipped my head back and took in the stars, remembering the evening we’d spent beneath their enchanted expanse. He looked up as well, sentiment softening his usually stoic expression enough for me to hope he too was reminiscing about the same cherished memory.

I longed to delve deeper and uncover the thoughts he concealed, wishing for our shared night under the stars to be just the beginning of many more treasured moments together, but I knew we couldn’t move forward until the secret separating us had been uncovered…and only then if Darcel was willing to forgive and build a new relationship on the truth.

I expected him to immediately begin questioning me, but instead he remained silent, seemingly searching for the right words to begin. The only sound in the prolonged quiet was the rapid pounding of my heart, which felt amplified in the enveloping darkness.

He slowly met my gaze. “I trust you know the reason I need to speak with you?”

Fear tempted me to feign ignorance, but I was tired of the dishonesty I’d erected as a barrier between us. After the trust he’d shown me, I only wanted honesty in our interactions from this time forth. I nodded.

“I know our relationship was strained in the beginning,” he continued. “But throughout our journey you’ve become more than just my comrade on this quest—you’ve become a true friend.”

I had promised myself to face this confrontation with courage, but tears stung my eyes. Even spoken gently, his words cut deeply, feeling like sharp accusations against my guilty conscience. I struggled to hold back my tears, certain they would expose the woman I really was—men were expected to be strong, stoic, devoid of such emotions—and I wanted to be the one to reveal my true identity on my own terms.

“I consider you a true friend too, Darcel.” With all we’d endured together, he’d become so much more…but I feared I was about to lose even the premise of friendship.

Even amid the gravity of the moment I detected the shadow of his dear smile before the nature of our discussion forced it away. “With what happened back at the altar, I know I have every reason to be suspicious. But despite how things appear, I’ve learned not to take anything at face value. Otherwise I never would have discovered the hidden shadows still tainting the kingdom that at first glance appears to be thriving with the light’s return.”

“Yet for all the unseen shadows, light can still be found.” My words emerged as a desperate plea for him to remember all the light that filled our own relationship despite his recent discovery of the deceit that lay just out of sight.

His gaze met my own, firm and unwavering, yet brimming with resolve that caused hope to lift my heavy heart. “It is that very light that causes me to remember that no matter what I might discover about you, it won’t change anything—I choose to believe in my friends. Yet the fact remains that you have a secret you’re protecting.”

---