Page 80 of Façade

And use her for her powers?

Guilt crushed my hopes before they could fully bud. No, I couldn’t do that to Evie. Yet how could I push her away when my kingdom desperately needed her? I groaned and buried my face in my hands, feeling trapped in a dark maze with two diverging paths and no clear way out.

What did I do?

You know that answer. My temptation had returned, each unwelcome whisper seductive in my weakness.You’ve always known: you’ll do what needs to be done.

That decision had already been difficult for the sake of king and country, but it felt utterly impossible now that my duty perfectly aligned with my secret desires. I wouldn’t need to lose Evie and marry another I didn’t love, a thought more tempting the longer it settled over me.

What harm could come from usingsomeof her magic if it ensured we could remain together? Logically I recognized the horrible thought for what it was, yet it wriggled its way deeper, poisoning every good intention until it’d expanded to consume my mind. With its power, the duty so engrained in me seemed to take over my limbs, compelling me to straighten and peer around the column to my target: the true Estorian crown princess.

Evie remained in the courtyard, though she now appeared to be alone. I yearned to go to her, but the draw of my heart was tainted by the dangerous temptation her magic presented. I fought against it, but after a moment’s wrestle the lure proved too strong, especially with thoughts of the disappearing curse still crowding my mind.

I glanced down at my hand, still weak from the effects of the curse. Having experienced its effects personally, how could I willingly subject my people to such an atrocity when the power to stop this devastating curse once and for all was within my grasp? These tempestuous thoughts wound themselves tightly around my mind even as I struggled to untangle myself from their unyielding grip.

But it was impossible, especially when the magic I needed was so close I could almost imagine I felt it tingle the air separating me from Evie. I’d been drawn to her before, but that force combined with this consuming need felt impossible to resist, especially with what giving in would mean for my suffering kingdom.

I fumbled inside the pocket of my cloak as I slowly bridged our distance, seeking the magic-stealing vial I’d never removed from my cloak even after learning she didn’t have magic. Yet even as my fingers curled around it I didn’t withdraw it, prevented from doing so when her beautiful gaze met mine.

She startled. “Ryland! What are you doing here?” Her voice hitched and she paled as she stared at me as if she’d just seen a ghost. The look put me in my place. While our relationship didn’t warrant her to look at me with the passion my heart yearned for, fear was a definite low.

The vial slipped from my hold to drop back into my pocket and my arm fell limply to my side. For a long moment I could only stare at her, each pulse of my rapidly pounding heart painful. This was the first time I’d been so close to her since realizing the depth of what I felt for her. My heart gave an excited leap from our proximity, but otherwise all tenderness of feeling had been swallowed up by the guilt of the inner conflict raging within me, as if duty was determined to rob me of love even after I’d found it.

Try as I might not to, I understood its urgent message: the disappearing curse was only growing stronger, and left unchecked, it would consume everything…unless I seized the one power that could stop it…magic I now realized Evelyn possessed only an arm’s length away. My hand tingled, aching to reach for her, to take what I needed…

No, Ryland!Once more it took considerable effort to smother the sinister suggestions coiling around all sense.

Evie still watched me, awaiting a response. I needed to say something, anything to hide my inner turmoil. She couldn’t know of my dishonorable temptation. I yearned for her trust, even though I didn’t deserve it.

“I needed some fresh air,” I finally managed.

Her smile quirked up, a rather endearing sight. “Fresh air…or is it the rocks you’re drawn to? I’m certain there are several around here. We can look together.”

Uncharacteristically, I hadn’t even noticed the rocks adorning the courtyard, my attention entirely eclipsed by her, as was my annoying habit whenever I found myself in her presence. I searched my mind for an answer, alternating between the truth and a witty response to impress her, when her eyes suddenly widened.

“Wait, you’re out of bed!”

My lips twitched. The girl was thoroughly unobservant to only have just noticed, yet even this quirk of hers was one of many that drew me to her. Concern filled her gaze as she took me in, as if she expected me to collapse at any moment. Could she be worried for me? How I desperately yearned for that to be true.

“I figured you’d missed me.” The teasing was familiar, a part of our old relationship before the revelation of her true identity had changed everything.

“You’d have to give me reason to miss you before that happened.” Her rising blush softened her familiar quip, beckoning me to reach out to graze it with my thumb…but if I touched her, the temptation for her magic might grow too difficult to resist.

I offered an exaggerated bow in hopes of earning a smile; her lips twitched slightly, my reward. “Then I shall make it my quest to give you every reason to miss me when our interaction ends.” Which meant I would ignore her magic’s seductive lure that mingled with the tingly warmth of her presence.

Her blush deepened and she defiantly stuck out her chin, but it seemed her usual stubbornness was no match for the concern I longed to receive from her. Her defiance softened. “I’m happy to see you out of bed. How are you feeling?”

Nerves made her words rushed, another endearing trait I wanted to spend a lifetime uncovering. With her being the real princess, we could have all the time in the world…yet at what cost?

“I’m feeling…” Wretched? Conflicted? “…well.”

She frowned with a look like she wanted to press the matter, but whatever her questions, they seemed nothing to the worries weighing heavily upon her. “Have you seen anything…interestingon your walk?” She wrung her hands as she awaited my answer.

Such as magic?The question burned my tongue, but she seemed so anxious at the possibility I might have witnessed the very thing I wasn’t supposed to that I immediately wanted to pretend I hadn’t seen anything of the sort, my need to protect her despite the ironic truth that the one she needed protection from the most was me and the temptation haunting my every thought.

I fought to push through these beguiling thoughts to force a smile. “I’ve only just come to the courtyard, but if there’s anything interesting, I’ll be sure to find it.” I made an exaggerated show of looking around before I gently nudged her bare toes sticking out from beneath her skirts with my boot. “And there it is. Barefoot even within a monastery? My wife certainly is rebellious.”

Guilt twinged at the lie, far too easy to give her, but it was well worth when the tension stiffening her body faded as she relaxed. Seeing it compelled me to push the vial deeper into my cloak pocket. I wouldn’t use it, of course I wouldn’t. I could never do that to her.

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