Page 89 of Façade

My fingers traced my lips, each touch returning my mind to the moment Ryland and I had…my toes curled and warmth encased my heart as I closed my eyes. How could I have forgotten such a precious memory? Though the kiss had been brief, the moment consumed my imagination—the feel of his fingers woven through my hair, the heat of his touch against my back, the tenderness filling his gaze, and most of all the feel of his lips softly pressing against mine. The most brief of kisses, yet it remainedours.

A girlish grin caressed my lips but I didn’t open my eyes, not wanting the night’s prowling shadows to ruin the cherished memory. The kiss had not only been beautiful but had been the key to unlocking the feelings I’d kept buried—both the love steadily growing between us and my desires for our future.

The memory of his words affected me as deeply as when he’d first spoken them:Perhaps there’s another path that will allow us to remain together.

Could we truly forge such a path? That depended entirely on whether he’d choose me over the goal that had consumed him for so long. The feel of his lips returned, a shadow against mine, and I smiled. Despite his distance these past several days, this affectionate token confirmed he already had.

For a beautiful moment I lost myself to the memory…until Silas’s warning, patiently lurking in the wings of my mind for the opportunity to coil itself around my joy, tainted it: “Your marriage grants you two a magical connection that would have made it very easy for him to steal your powers.”

Apprehension seized my heart and I rigidly shook my head in hopes of dispelling the horrible accusation. Ryland would never do that to me.

He needed to visit soon so we could discuss Silas’s horrible suspicions…yet his determined distance had stretched into one day, then two, and soon to be three; the longer he stayed away, the more I worried there was a reason. These fears along with my recent nightmare only increased my urgency to uncover the mystery about what had transpired in that courtyard.

Thankfully, my strength had returned enough for me to search Ryland out myself. Drawn by this need for answers and to see him again, when morning finally arrived to stretch across the sky I shakily climbed from bed. Weakness weighed down my limbs. I clutched the wall for support until I was steady enough to dress and then inch slowly towards the doorway. I’d made my way halfway along the wall when a familiar knock sounded. My heart leapt.Ryland.

Dizziness nearly caused me to stumble as I hastily made my way towards the door—before a sudden shyness compelled me to still with my hand above the knob. What would things be like between us now that we’d ventured one step further into the forbidden territory? He’d been considerably distant since my illness…yet in the moments before and his expressions of concern that followed, he’d been achingly sweet, giving my heart reason to still hope his distance and Silas’s doubts were only a temporary setback to the forever I still longed to forge.

I yearned to explore this new relationship even as I feared the destination this path would eventually lead. The memory of our kiss returned, accompanied by all the beautiful, tender feelings swelling my heart, assurances that urged me to be brave enough to take this uncertain step in the dark for the promise of the light that awaited me.

I took a steadying breath. There was no need to be frightened. An honorable man wouldn’t kiss a woman if he felt nothing for her. With his kiss had come the hope that Ryland felt for me what I did for him, an assurance I could open my heart to create the future I’d secretly longed to create with him even before my heart realized it.

With the promise brought by these feelings came my eagerness to see Ryland and discuss these beautiful new possibilities. I flung open the door. “Ryland! I was hoping—“

My smile faltered the moment my gaze settled on him. Though he’d been distant these past several days as I healed, I’d still expected a continuation of the soft expression from my memory of our kiss…but instead his entire manner had hardened, as if carved from stone. Worry flared, crowding out every other emotion.

“Are you alright?”

For a long moment he simply stared in silent indifference…save for a small glimmer ofsomethingin his eyes that was different from the darkness shrouding him, a sadness and regret so acute I was left nearly breathless. In a heartbeat it vanished as he hastily tucked it away, leaving behind the mask he hadn’t worn since the beginning of our marriage.

He took a deep breath, as if gathering his resolve. “The healer informed me you’re feeling better, which means it’s time.”

My brow furrowed. “Time for what?”

“The ceremony is prepared. They’re waiting for you.”

“Ceremony?” My mouth had gone dry. “What ceremony?”

“The severing ceremony to annul our marriage.”

My breath caught. For a moment I couldn’t speak, words impossible to form with the shock paralyzing my thoughts. I swallowed. “You mean we’re actually going through with it?”

He frowned. “I’m not sure why you’re so surprised. This has been the plan since the beginning.”

“It has, but…things have changed. How could I not be surprised after we—“ Embarrassment heated my cheeks, an emotion that hadn’t been present during our kiss but which his hostility brought now.

“That kiss was a mistake,” he said stiffly. “I shouldn’t have—“

“Don’t say it.” I couldn’t bear to hear he regretted it, but it was already too late; his behavior already tainted what had once been a beautiful memory, poisoning it and every tender feeling it’d created.

He obediently didn’t continue, but his unspoken words lingered in the hardness lining his expression: hedidregret it, and it was this emotion that compelled him to rid himself of me as soon as possible.

Since then I’d been finding ways to delay it as I searched for a path forward that would allow us to remain together. But now I realized my longings had been nothing more than an illusion that, like vapor, was impossible to cling to.

“Did it mean nothing to you?”

An inner battle seemed to rage within him before he clenched his jaw in response, an answer I simply couldn’t accept.

“I know you feel something for me,” I said. “You wouldn’t have kissed me otherwise.”

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