Page 60 of Façade

As I’d hoped, she scowled. “I wouldn’t miss you.” The way her nose wrinkled in distaste indicated the truth of her words…even as the blush tinging her cheeks told a different story, the very one I yearned for.

She blinked at me in surprise as she took in our position. “You’re no longer holding me the way you did last night. I thought you wanted to prevent my escape.”

An awkward silence settled around us before I rallied and forced myself to tease her in order to brush off the deep sadness the thought of her leaving me caused to swell. “Such a precaution was unnecessary, considering it quickly became abundantly clear you wanted to stay with me on your own.” I winked. The girl was infinitely fun to tease.

The blush staining her cheeks deepened to a lovely rosy hue, giving me reason to hope that perhaps a part of her no longer hated me as she once had. It took considerable effort to force these unproductive thoughts away. There was no point in her liking me, not when we were scheduled to arrive at the monastery this afternoon.

You don’t have to annul the marriage.

The wayward thought that had been returning with increasing frequency once more caressed my thoughts, attempting to tempt me away from my expected duty. Yet these secret yearnings weren’t so easily dispelled—they filled my mind with imaginings of what it’d be like to remain married to Evie, spending every morning with her tucked in my arms rather than having this be our last stolen moment.

Yet such a future was impossible. I could never put my own selfish wants over the needs of my kingdom, especially not for a life with the commoner I yearned for more with each passing day. A prince’s happiness was secondary to that of his people, sacrifice being the force that guided every choice. Yet the longer I remained with Evie, the more I realized just how steep the sacrifice required of me.

It was truly unfortunate she wasn’t the true Estorian princess.

These thoughts consumed me as we readied the horses and set out on the final leg of our journey, working relentlessly to sway me from my chosen course. After a short ride, we emerged from the forest and began the ascent up the steep mountain that led to the monastery. Though it was still too far to see clearly, I could feel its looming presence, escalating the dread knotting my stomach.

After a half-hearted effort to resist the impulse, I nudged my horse closer to Evie’s until I rode beside her. To keep her from running, of course…at least, that’s how I tried to reassure myself. In truth, I longed to remain close to her and enjoy her comfortable companionship, pleasant even when we didn’t speak. Unspoken words burned my tongue, a desire to converse with her while our time together remained, but what did one say to fill the precious minutes remaining before they trickled away forever?

I nervously cleared my throat to interrupt the energy humming between us. She gave me an earnest look; that along with the ever-present temptation to tease her beckoned me closer, as if to whisper a sweet nothing into her ear; she tensed even as her body instinctively tilted towards me, as if in anticipation.

“The weather is lovely.” She glared, as I knew she would, and I lifted my hands in mock defense. “You oppose my efforts to be a thoughtful husband by bringing up your favorite topic?”

“You’re hilarious.” Grumpiness hardened her tone, but the way her lips twitched assured me that she wasn’t completely put out with me. Another victory. I chuckled, a welcome reprieve to the tension that had been pressing against my chest.

“I couldn’t resist. You’re rather adorable when you pout.”

I waited in anticipation for my promised blush to follow and was well rewarded when a rather alluring pink hue grazed her cheeks, one of many she’d given me this morning. I clutched the reins tightly to avoid the impulse to reach across the distance separating us to stroke it. Caressing my wife’s cheek would only make our impending separation more difficult, and it was already proving difficult enough.

My efforts to resist touching her suddenly made her feel too far away, well beyond the arm’s length separating us as we rode side by side. My dread deepened the closer we drew to the monastery; with each of our horses’ steady trots, my mind frantically whirled with potential ways I could delay the journey or even for a course that would prevent me from annulling our marriage at all.

But there was nothing. Without marrying into magic, I knew of no other way to help my kingdom. Though Lucian’s intended also came from a magical throne, their power had been weakening over the years and wouldn’t be able to provide nearly as much as we desperately needed. Not to mention that with the animosity he and his fiancée shared, there was risk of his union falling through. Unfortunately, Estoria remained our kingdom’s best chance for survival.

The upward winding trail our horses steadily climbed took a gentle curve, opening up a glimpse of the monastery’s glistening grey stones through the trees. Evie’s gaze followed the trail upward and settled on the spires crowning the peak. She bit her lip. “Is that…?”

I tried to speak but the words trapped in my throat, but all I could manage was a rigid nod.

She sighed. “I see.”

My heart gave a twinge. Despite the deceit that should have compelled her to hate me, did she dread our separation as much as I did?

It didn’t matter, not when the monastery awaited us only a few hours away. Another silence settled around us, this one more unbearable than the last. I ached to fill it, but what could I talk about with a woman I was growing increasingly interested in when our time together was nearing its end?

As if seeking inspiration, I unconsciously reached inside my cloak to graze the rock hidden inside that Evie had given me yesterday, which I’d kept close in an effort to keep her near. She noticed the movement and, after a moment’s deliberation, she urged her horse close enough to hand me something: another rock. Despite my escalating melancholy, my surprise melted into a smile all too easy to give whenever I was around her.

“You’ve corrupted me,” she explained hastily. “I now find myself searching for them everywhere. This one was near where we slept. I noticed it while you were preparing the horses…and thought of you.” She shyly lowered her gaze.

A feeling I had no name for swelled within me. Our fingers grazed as I gingerly accepted it. “You found another rock for me.” A rhyolite by the looks of it, light-colored and fine-grained, one of the loveliest I’d ever seen.

“Think of it as a gift for our impending parting.”

My stomach lurched at the words that nearly caused me to drop the rock to the trail, but my fingers curled instinctively around it, driven by my desire to keep everything Evie had given me to better remember her by, even as I was certain nothing could ever compel me to forget her.

I forced myself to smile. “You’ve succeed in winning the game I didn’t realize we were playing, considering I didn’t give you a gift to mark this momentous occasion.” Immersing myself in our familiar word spar felt safe, even if my heart wasn’t in it.

She batted her eyes a bit too sweetly. “I don’t desire much: just for there to be no need to give me a gift at all.”

My heart lurched at her words even as sense tried to calm it.She doesn’t want to remain married for your sake; she only wants to protect the true princess. Despite its increasing familiarity, the disappointment was still sharp.

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