Page 73 of Turret

I couldn’t help but snuggle closer. “You can’t see,” I murmured again.

“I can see enough,” he said. “The world is not entirely black, or even filled with nothing. Amidst the darkness shrouding my eyes is the occasional swirl of color and light playing across my senses, my own unique aurora borealis.”

I tipped my head back so my chin rested over his heart. “I feared you saw nothing. Is what you see beautiful?”

He smiled. “It is, and there are other ways I can see, in a sense, for the curse hasn’t robbed me of the memories of my sight or of you. I can just envision the way you’re staring up at me, your brow puckered in that bewildered way you often look when you’re confused.” His smile grew as his fingertip felt the crease in my forehead. “Yes, this feels exactly how I remember it. Despite my blindness, I know you too well to evernotbe able to see you.”

I wasn’t fully appeased, but with his calm countenance and reassuring words I found myself relaxing. He felt the change in his hold around me and peace softened his expression.

“I’m content, Gemma. I promise.”

I desperately wanted to believe him. “I don’t want you to be merelycontent. I want you to experience all that life has to offer. I would give anything to take it all away…I would, Quinn.” It was again an echo of the very words Quinn had spoken to me many times.

“I wouldn’t want you to. Nothing is worth you giving up just for me to regain my sight.” His hand returned to my cheek. “I truly don’t need it, not when every look, gesture, and memory is etched on my heart forever. And while I’ll miss my sight and am sad that I’ve lost my purpose in protecting you as your guard, I’m still blessed with the opportunity to protect your heart. I don’t want you to cry for me anymore. Please, Gemma.”

And while I didn’t want to give up my quest, I knew Quinn needed me to respect his wishes. If I could provide him peace by trying to be happy despite his blindness, then I would do my best to give him that.

Chapter 28

It was impossible to sleep when all around me was night. The silvery moonlight shining through the sliver between my drapes did nothing to dispel the suffocating darkness pressing against my senses and making me feel as if I were trapped, similar to the endless days, weeks, months, and eventually years I’d remained bedridden.

The darkness took on a new, more sinister meaning now that I knew this was all Quinn could see. His assurances of the glimpses of swirling light and color he occasionally experienced did little to reassure me now that I was enveloped in the darkness’s thick tentacles. It quickly grew unbearable, forcing me to light the lantern at my bedside, but even its flickering light did little to soothe me. Instead it created long, dancing shadows that slithered around my room in creepy patterns, making the night almost haunting.

I moaned and pressed one of my pillows against my eyes to block out the sight until all I could see was the faint golden glow from the lantern against my eyelids, something far more preferable than the taunting shadows. But blocking out the darkness did little to lessen my worries concerning Quinn, the true source of my restless night: did his blindness prevent him from even seeing something as simple as light against his eyelids, or had that too been stolen from him?

The question only caused my guilt to return, reminding me I’d broken my earlier promise to Quinn that I wouldn’t allow his condition to deprive me of joy. He’d be deeply distressed if he knew my worries concerning him were depriving me of sleep, but a restful night seemed both impossible and entirely inconsequential when, come morning, Quinn would never see another sunrise, the beauty of the day,anything. The thought was unbearable, no matter how much I’d tried to grow accustomed to it.

These thoughts haunted me throughout the night, only fading as I studied the surrounding darkness’s waltz with the lantern light. Quinn often feared his world of darkness and mine of light could never touch, and yet they wove seamlessly together with each dancing sway of the light.

While Quinn cared too much to take me from the light, it was impossible for me to leave him alone in the shadows that had overtaken his world, especially after having been forced to endure such a world for so long myself. Although he claimed he was content, I wantedmorefor him, just as he’d never ceased desiring more for me while I’d been trapped within the tower.

A new idea illuminated my mind, daybreak in this endless night, and with it many of the fears and shadows faded away. I looked around my room with new eyes—at the way the moonlight and shadows touched one another, the stars shone against the velvety sky, and the darkness and light mingled, day and night existing side by side.

Quinn had helped me see past my own darkness to a new world. Now I would help him in return. If I couldn’t heal his eyes, then I would bring light to him. This new purpose brought with it the first sense of peace since learning of Quinn’s condition, and with this calm I finally managed to drift into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Despite my lingering exhaustion,I awoke at dawn, too eager to begin my new quest to sleep a moment longer. I quickly dressed with the help of Melina. Even discussing her upcoming wedding and the wedding trip did little to dispel my eagerness to see Quinn. When she finished, I ate a hurried breakfast before going in search of him. I hoped to find him standing in his usual guarding post outside my door…only to discover a new and unfamiliar guard in his place.

My heart sank. So my brother had already replaced him, seeing no reason to delay after informing me of the situation. I sighed. As much as I wanted to fight the new arrangement, I knew that complaints were useless, especially when I’d seen for myself only the day before how much Quinn had struggled just to pick up a fallen bowl. Defending me should the need arise would be far more difficult, and would undoubtedly hurt him in the attempt, which was the last thing I wanted.

Reminding myself that the unwanted change in Quinn’s position was as much for his protection as my own helped dispel some of the disappointment. I forced myself to push the rest of it aside and search for Quinn, unsure where to even begin looking considering he was usually riveted to my side.

It took nearly an hour of wandering the corridors and asking the servants I encountered before I found him at one of the balconies overlooking the garden. I paused in the doorway to watch him. He stared across the palace grounds with such a concentrated look that for a fleeting moment my heart lifted with foolish hope that perhaps he could see the gardens…but then his expression faltered, revealing the raw emotions that since we’d arrived at the palace he’d kept securely tucked behind his mask.

So many twisted his expression at once—devastation, uncertainty, vulnerability, fear. No matter what he pretended for my benefit, he missed too much from his sight to ever fully be content in his world of darkness. I set my jaw. I would show the gardens to him so that he need never miss out on any sight he wanted to experience ever again.

I pushed through my sudden flare of nerves and stepped onto the balcony. He tilted his head towards the sound of my approach before hastily tucking his melancholy away and swiveling to face me with a wide grin.

“Good morning, Gemma.”

“Good morning.” I paused at his side and gave him my hand when he reached for it, knowing that touching me would help compensate for his inability to see me. “How did you know it was me?”

He chuckled. “I’ve long since had your footsteps memorized…not to mention you smell of peonies, which happen to now be my favorite flower.”

My lips twitched into a smile. He was so good at making me happy. Now I wanted to do the same for him.

Instead, his smile faltered as his worried gaze flickered behind me. “I don’t hear additional footsteps. Is a guard accompanying you?”

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