Page 53 of Turret

“What is your favorite thing to see?” I wasn’t sure what had compelled me to ask such a question at such a time, but as this part of his life was closing, it seemed appropriate to honor the joy his sight had brought him, a much brighter focus than the impending dread of it about to be fully taken away.

“Besides you?” He considered. “There are so many. From the moment I realized I’d inherited the curse, I’ve been paying careful attention to every detail, no matter how small—the graceful way the light dances, the gentle breeze blowing the curtains or the leaves in the trees, the cheerful way the birds hop along the windowsill. I’ve also enjoyed the views whenever the tower shifted locations, the different masterpieces nature creates in every sunrise and sunset…so many things.” His expression softened a moment before he grew pensive. “I love seeing those I care about—not only their features, but their unique mannerisms. I regret I’ll never see my family again, though of course I don’t regret the time I’ve spent here with you.”

Despite his reassurances, guilt knotted my stomach all the same. The emotion must have shown in my eyes, and in this moment he could still see it. His smile gentled.

“I truly don’t regret it, Gemma. I’ve enjoyed my sight and am grateful for the time I’ve had it, but nothing has brought me more joy than guarding you. To witness the light in your eyes as you discover more of yourself and your passions, as well as your strength despite the difficulties you’ve endured…yes, I’ve definitely enjoyed you the most.” His look was incredibly soft.

Warmth filled me, and I knew he truly meant it. “You mentioned the sunrise…it’s almost dawn. Do you think you’ll see at least one more?”

“That is what I’m praying for.”

By the light tinging the horizon I knew it was close. We moved to sit on the balcony, where we watched as it gradually grew brighter, lighting up the sky to swallow up the stars and dispel the velvety night. But even as the sky became aglow in golden, rose light, Quinn still didn’t look away from me.

“Don’t you want to watch the sunrise?” I asked.

“Its light is haloing you. It’s so beautiful.” Reverence and joy filled his eyes. I basked in the look and the light reflected in his gaze, the look ofseeing. And because I was watching him so attentively, I saw the moment when that look simply…disappeared.

The change was subtle, but the way his hazel eyes dimmed and clouded with despair told me all I needed to know. “Quinn?” I asked hesitantly. He blinked hastily, as if the act could dispel the fog now hovering over his vision. But of course it did nothing.

He released a shaky breath and rested his forehead against mine, saying nothing, as if he couldn’t bear to speak the words, confirming what had just happened. And I didn’t want to hear them. Even now that the curse had finally reigned victorious, I couldn’t bear to think that he was now blind.

I enfolded him in my arms. He didn’t resist, simply slumped against me, clinging to me fiercely. As I held him, I glanced towards the sky lighting the world around us, dispelling the last of the night. How ironic that a new day was beginning the moment the sun had set on Quinn’s vision. Yet how could I appreciate the surrounding beauty when Quinn would never again be able to?

He sensed my melancholy in the way only he could. He glanced up, likely out of habit considering he could no longer see me. For a moment he appeared wistful before his expression cleared. He reached up to feel my position, seeing it all with his hands.

He managed a smile. “You’re facing towards the balcony. Are you admiring the sky? It must be a lovely morning.”

“It’s not lovely at all,” I said sourly. “I do believe I hate sunrises. How can I appreciate them now?”

His brow puckered in concern. “Gemma, please don’t hate them. Sunrises haven’t lost their beauty simply because I can no longer appreciate them…butyoucan.”

I sighed. Of course he thought that. I shouldn’t have been surprised, for Quinn had always wanted me to look outside the tower to the possibilities that lay beyond. But though I’d had little patience for such sentiments before, I felt differently now.

“I want you to appreciate it. For me. Please, Gemma.” His tone was desperate, pleading.

I studied him. His gaze was turned in my direction, only a few inches off from my own. And despite knowing he couldn’t actually see me anymore, the tenderness that always filled his eyes whenever he used to look at me remained. Despite everything, that hadn’t changed.

He truly cared for me and wanted more for me, just as I did for him now that he’d completely lost his sight. Before I’d ventured from the tower I’d been trapped by my own blindness, content with the darkness that came from remaining in the tower’s security. But Quinn had never given up trying to bring light to my world…and now I wanted the same for him.

I burrowed my fingers in his hair, both needing to touch him and wanting to give him another sense to enjoy now that one had been so cruelly stolen. He startled in surprise before melting against my touch. This new relationship of ours would take some getting used to, but I was prepared to do whatever it took to navigate it with Quinn…including granting his request now.

“You want me to watch the sunrise even without you?” I asked hesitantly, needing to be sure.

“Iamwatching it with you,” he said. “Just because I can’t see doesn’t mean we’re not doing it together.”

That was true. I scooted closer so I could lean my head against his shoulder and turned to overlook the balcony. “It’s really a pretty sunrise. The sky is lit with all manner of colors. It’s like a watercolor painting, with all the colors blending together in layers—the top is tinged with blue, below is gold, which melts into rose, and hugging the horizon and the tops of the autumn-laden trees is orange.”

My descriptions didn’t seem nearly adequate for such a breathtaking vision, something I’d need to practice, but a small smile lit his face all the same, as if they’d been just right.

“How lovely.” He looked out over the balcony, as if to take it in himself. “I can well imagine it, Gemma.”

I tipped my head back to study him closely, and though he appeared content, I knew him well enough to see it was a mask. “You don’t have to be brave for me, Quinn. Please allow me to share your burden.”

He hesitated a moment more before his composure faltered. “I’mtryingto be brave, for I know that is the best way to navigate this new reality. I’ve imagined this moment dozens of times and yet nothing could prepare me for it. Before there was alwayssomething, even if it was shadowy and unclear, but now the darkness is so complete. To think it’ll never end, thatthisis all I’ll see from now on? I’m frightened, Gemma.”

I wove my hand through his. “It’s alright to allow yourself to mourn for what you’ve lost. It’s a journey I had to embark on once I realized my illness would likely be a lifelong affliction. But just because you mourn your lost sight and have uncertainty about a future without it doesn’t mean you’re not brave.”

His shoulders slumped with a weary sigh. “It’s more difficult than I imagined, not just not seeing, but facing a future where it’ll never end. But I suppose I’ll get used to it, and soon I’ll forget what it was like to still possess my sight.”

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