Page 39 of Turret

As if realizing this too, Quinn released a fierce growl. What followed was a string of curses, words I hadn’t even known existed. And it wasn’t just obscenities passing Quinn’s lips, but growls, shouts, and several whacks and kicks against the impenetrable stone, over and over.

“You blasted tower!” he shouted. “To give us false hope, only to snatch it away at the last moment…Ihateyou, you sadistic, horrible, cruel—” With every word, he continued to kick the stone over and over before he slapped his hands onto the wall with another growl, as if trying to break through from sheer force of will. “Let. Gemma. Out!”

But no matter his protests or anger, the wall remained impenetrable, the tower seeming entirely unbothered by his anger.

I stared, mouth agape. “Quinn?” I asked hesitantly.

He released another groan, more agonized than the last. “We weresoclose.” And without another sound, he collapsed against the wall in utter defeat.

I’d never seen him so unraveled, not even when he’d told me of his curse. My heart ached for him. But another worry vied for my attention. I rested my hand against the wall, trying to discern the tower’s emotions or reasons for its trick, but it remained cool, unanswering, almost as if this section of the turret wasn’t alive at all but just plain stone, considering no magic seemed to fill its walls. My heart prickled in concern. What could have caused it to be so quiet?

But these concerns were nothing to the fierce relief I felt, dispelling the uncertainty that had swelled the moment Quinn had informed me he’d found a way out. With every step towards the exit, my desires to remain within the comforting, secure hold of the tower’s walls had only grown…and now I could.

Yet despite my warm relief, I was still concerned for my companions. I turned to Melina, still sobbing silently beside me. “Are you alright?”

She gave her head a rigid shake. “How can I be? To think we were so close to freedom, only to find ourselves still trapped…it’s unbearable.”

She looked up, her face red and blotchy and her cheeks streaked with tears. I hastily tried to mask my relief before she could detect it, but it was too late.

“You don’t seem upset. Don’t you care we’re still trapped?”

I ached to lie, but I couldn’t find the words. Her eyes narrowed darkly, a look she’d never given me before.

“You’rehappyabout this, aren’t you? How can you be so unfeeling?” Her words came out biting, as if the tense emotions that had cloaked us for weeks from the shifting tower’s fading magic, the dwindling food supply, and the new uncertainties had all suddenly become too much, causing her careful composure to finally unravel.

My heart lurched at her accusation, one I ached to deny. “No, it’s not that, I—”

“But it is.” Her voice shook with emotion, even as fresh tears escaped. “It’s easy for you to be content to remain when the man you love is always with you, but unlike you, my life is outside the tower—my family, my fiancé, my future…it was all stolen from me the day we were trapped. Each day this sentence continues takes away any hope that there will ever be anything beyond this…and yet you don’t care.”

Before I could even attempt an answer, she spun around and left without another word.

I stared after her long after the echo of her angry footsteps faded. Her sharp words filled my mind along with the sight of her tears and her fierce desperation to leave. Throughout my time within these walls I’d rarely considered how much she wanted to escape, a realization which now filled me with guilt.

Because of me she was not only trapped but being denied the life she was meant to live. My curse had condemned us all, while my fears continued to trap us.

Normally Quinn was attuned to my emotions, but he didn’t immediately comfort me. Instead he remained at the end of the tunnel, his entire body slouched against the wall in defeat.

I stared at his back. Even though he hadn’t attacked me with his words as my handmaiden had, he too had a life beyond the tower. And though I knew his devotion made it so he didn’t regret his choice to remain with me, that didn’t prevent him from missing the life our imprisonment had denied him.

Shame knotted my stomach. I hadn’t meant to be selfish. My fears, insecurities, and illness had simply consumed me so that I’d scarcely thought of anything else. But now I was forced to face the painful truth, even though I wanted nothing more than to look away.

I took a wavering breath and approached my guard to rest my hand against his back. At my touch, he spun around to seize me in a tight embrace. He clutched me close in silence for several moments before sighing in defeat.

“I couldn’t get you out. I’m so sorry, Gemma.”

Now was not the time to admit I still wasn’t entirely sure Iwantedto be free; surely that was the last thing he wanted to hear midst his acute disappointment, especially after all the work he’d expended trying to free me.

He kept me in his arms as he pulled away enough to stare down at me. He stroked my cheek, his touch comforting. “This is only a momentary setback. I won’t rest until I’ve thwarted this blasted tower and found a way out.”

His eyes blazed with determination and my heart warmed at his sincerity, even as it twitched in fear. Even if the tower allowed him to find an exit—which seemed unlikely, for today had only proven that despite its fading magic it wouldn’t be so easily foiled—I still wasn’t sure Icouldleave.

Yet both Melina and Quinn desperately wanted to escape, and they deserved to. Unlike me, they each had a life beyond these walls, one they’d sacrificed on my behalf. And though I knew that Quinn at least didn’t regret choosing to remain with me, his loyalty couldn’t completely dispel his desires for freedom or even his fears of having no purpose beyond the tower.

Though the thought pained me, I knew what I had to do. Even if I wasn’t strong enough to leave the tower, that didn’t mean my companions had to remain its prisoner forever. I wouldn’t allow my paralyzing fears of remaining alone to sway me from the right course.

I took a wavering breath. “If you find a way to leave the tower, you and Melina have my permission to go, but I’m not sure I’m strong enough to accompany you.”

His breath hooked, and by his stunned expression I knew he understood my unspoken words—despite the subtle progress I’d made, my fears of the unknown were what continued to trap me more than the tower’s impenetrable walls.

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