Page 19 of Turret

When we’d first become trapped, the tower’s enchantment had seemed absolute and unchanging…only for it to now be gradually slipping away. Could that possibility be true for the anxiety acting as a warden over my thoughts? The possibility was enough to pierce the overwhelming darkness shrouding my mind just enough for a sliver of light to penetrate it.

This light calmed me just enough to allow me to escape the prison of my thoughts. An idea illuminated my mind. I left the second-floor landing and took the stairs that twisted up towards where the herbal garden resided, faintly aware of Quinn’s soft footsteps ascending the staircase close behind me.

I hesitated at the door, afraid to open it to see whether this part of the tower remained or if it’d also slipped away. With a wavering breath I entered the room…only to see it was just as I’d left it.

Dirt rows filled with plants lined the stone floor in patterns of tidy plots, thriving despite the surrounding tower walls blocking out the sun. Despite still being new to my herbal studies, the earthy scent that greeted me was both familiar and comforting, and immediately began to ease the tightness squeezing my chest.

I wandered the rows before running my fingers along the spines of the books filling the shelf hugging the wall, relishing the caress of leather against my fingertips, as if I was being greeted by old friends despite having only consulted these books once before.

I tugged one out and flipped through its pages, immersing myself in the words and illustrations that greeted me and finding solace in the descriptions of various herbs, a sense of order even midst my chaotic thoughts. My explorations became more focused as I began searching the books for a calming tonic.

Once I’d found a remedy that looked relatively simple to make, I used the illustrations as a guide to procure the herbs amongst the ones growing in the room and stored in the jars lining the shelves. Once I had them all, I carefully followed the instructions.

As I’d hoped, preparing the herbs proved not only distracting but soothing. The variety of scents mingled together to surround me like a protective embrace, while the rhythmic movements of my hands calmed my taut nerves. The herbal book gave my mind something more uplifting to focus on—each word pushed out the dark anxieties filling my thoughts one by one until my attention was completely eclipsed by the puzzle of which herbs to combine to create my desired effects and the variety of ways to prepare them.

It was an entirely new world, one of the few I didn’t mind discovering, for this one not only felt safe but gave me a purpose I’d never experienced before.

I only emerged from this intriguing new experience when movement caught my eye from the doorway. I glanced over to find Quinn hovering in the threshold bearing a tray of food Melina must have just brought up. “Forgive me for disturbing you, but I wondered if you were ready for lunch.”

In truth my herbs had occupied all my thoughts, leaving no room for hunger, but admitting that would only cause Quinn to fret over my appetite, and with today’s added difficulties, we already had enough to worry about.

I beckoned him to enter and settled myself in one of the few chairs occupying the room, ones I wasn’t entirely sure had been there when I’d arrived. Quinn studied them with a pensive frown as he arranged the tray on the table. “I’m certain those weren’t there before.”

“Apparently the tower values comfort over food,” I said warily.

Quinn continued to eye them. “I recognize these chairs from one of the lesser-used rooms. Perhaps the tower possesses enough magic to transfer them here, whereas food is something it must create on its own…something it is no longer able to do.” He seemed to regret his words upon seeing my alarm. “Forgive me for worrying you, it’s only speculation.”

I nodded and willed myself to recapture the calm my studies had brought me. I forced myself to focus on the food on the tray—fresh bread, steamed potatoes, and tea, a simple meal but likely the best poor Melina could create considering the circumstances.

“At least we still have food.” It was an effort to sound cheerful.

Quinn poured me a cup of tea. “These are all from our reserves. Root vegetables, grains, and tea leaves store easily, but we’ve been unable to find anything fresh. When Melina brought your food, she assured me that upon further investigation, she found that the other pantry containing the dried meat hasn’t disappeared, meaning that for the time being we won’t starve.”

I understood his unspoken implication: if the tower didn’t produce any additional food, eventually there’d come a time when we’d run out. The worry I’d worked so hard to suppress returned in a rush. I bit my lip, causing Quinn to look regretful for bringing up such a somber topic.

He cleared his throat as he handed me a plate of food. “I’m admittedly curious why you sought solace in such a place.”

I gratefully seized this change in topic as I began eating, more to appease my guard than my own hunger. “When I created the herbs for your wound, I found I rather enjoyed the task, so when I began feeling anxious…I felt drawn here, hoping that perhaps the act of studying herbs could in and of itself be its own remedy.”

I felt foolish making the admission out loud. What could have compelled me to explore such an unroyal subject? I already feared I continuously failed as a princess, yet here I was choosing to venture further from the path expected of me. But rather than feeling regretful, for the first time Iwantedto do something different. Yet I couldn’t…could I?

Quinn’s sigh interrupted my inner turmoil. “I hate seeing that look.”

I blinked at him. “What look?”

His expression was grave as he leaned closer. “The one you get when you’re being too hard on yourself. You cling to what you believe are the expectations that come with being a princess, while in truth the only one placing limits on yourself is you. You’re building walls that don’t exist. Princess or not, herbalism is a fine interest.”

As usual, he’d been able to see right through me; it was as if he alone could penetrate my walls and see straight into my heart. It went beyond his duties as my guard…while also feeling like a natural aspect of the relationship deepening between us.

This realization encouraged me to confide in him. “I feel something different when I work with the herbs.” Just as I was beginning to feel something different withhim, something warm and deep that filled the spaces between us.

Once again my gaze was drawn to him. He sat close, allowing me to more easily study him. Despite his serious countenance, he was rather handsome, with dark brown hair that fell messily across his forehead and bright hazel eyes that always regarded me so tenderly.

The longer I studied him, the more I noticed the worry furrowing his brow, the weariness cloaking his expression, and the dark circles beneath his eyes.

“You look tired. Please don’t tell me you stay up all night to guard me.”

“I sleep,” he said, seeming purposefully vague regardinghow long. “I often sleep just outside your door so I can be near you should you need me. But ever since the tower trapped you in the library, I’ve also used the time to investigate its magic.”

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