Page 24 of Sins & Secrets

“I just want to feed you,” I say in a tone that I hope comes out somewhat innocent.

“And fuck me,” she whispers so softly but with a roughness I haven’t heard from that sexy voice of hers. I stare into her gorgeous gaze, daring her to blush, to be embarrassed by it, but she only stares back with desire in her baby blue eyes.

“Yes, and fuck you,” I say. It doesn’t go unnoticed that she clenches her thighs. “You want that, don’t you?”

“I’m not sure I should be sleeping with you,” she says simply but with a firm resolve in her voice. My heart beats in a way that makes it feel tight. Like there’s not quite enough room for it to beat again.

“Are you seeing someone else?” I ask her. My knuckles brush against the white tablecloth as my hands start to fist. I stop them and try to keep my body from showing what I’m really feeling. She better not be fucking anyone else.

She loses the conviction in her voice when she answers, “No.”

“Then why shouldn’t we?” I say, glancing at the waiter as he makes his way toward us.

“Because—” Jules stops as soon as she notices him. She plasters on a fake smile that doesn’t reach her eyes and waits patiently for him to address her.

“Are you ready for me to take your order?” he asks me but I gesture to Jules, taking another sip to settle my irritation.

“For you, miss?”

“May I have the herb-grilled salmon, please?” She passes the menu to him and rests her hands in her lap, giving him her full attention. Meanwhile, I can’t take my eyes off her and wondering why the hell she thinks she shouldn’t be seeing me.

“Are the grilled vegetables all right with that?” he asks her.

“Yes, they’re perfect.”

The waiter scribbles on the notepad in his hand then turns toward me.

“Sirloin, medium rare. Vegetables are fine.” I preemptively answer his unasked question, still staring at Jules. The waiter takes the hint, nodding once and immediately leaving us.

“You were saying?” I say, picking up my bourbon.

“I—” Again she hesitates, sensing the change in my temperament. “I don’t know if I should really be seeinganyone.”

I wait for more, taking another sip.

“I’m not sure how to,” she says, waving her hand in the air, at a loss for words. “I’m still—” She can’t put a sentence together.

“I want to fuck you, Jules. Give me one good reason why there’s a problem with that.” I hold her gaze listing all the reasons in my head, but ignoring every last one of them. She needs someone to fuck, to hold her, someone to make her smile. I can do that; I can be that person.

“It’s just sex?” she asks and from the look in her eyes, I don’t know what answer she wants in return.

Fuck, I wish it were. I can’t explain why I want her this badly. It’s more than the physical attraction, but I’ll never admit the truth to her.

“Just sex,” I lie. “If that’s what you want.”

She licks her lush lips, peering down at her silverware and then up to me. “I’d be using you,” she says as if she’s confessing a sin.

A bark of a laugh leaves me and my tense muscles relax.

“Use me, Jules.” I stare into her blue eyes flecked with silver, feeling the tension between us morph into something sweeter, something darker and depraved. “I want you to.”

JULIA

It starts with a kiss.

Then dinners and dates.

It starts with a smile.

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