Page 220 of Sins & Secrets

It’s only when I see Kat in bed that my heart starts to calm, and my heated skin seems to succumb to the chill of reality.

She’s okay.

I close my eyes and when I open them, the monitor displays an image of her rolling over in bed.To my side.My fingers brush the glass where she is. I’ll be there soon. I’ll be with her and it’ll all be over.

It’s that promise to myself that brings me any sleep at all anymore.It’ll be over soon and then I’ll be with her.

“There’sa lot of shit you aren’t going to like,” Mason states matter-of-factly the second I close the door to his car. He doesn’t even wait for my ass to hit the seat. He’s situated outside the park and I focus on the people walking by. Moving through their day and carrying on with their lives, while mine’s slowly deteriorating into nothing.

I needed this meetup to get the fuck out of this rut and talk to someone. Even if it means hearing something I’m not going to like.

“Let’s start with the easiest.”

“You have a tail. Hired by Lapour,” he says, and his sentences are short, clipped. I nod my head. I figured as much. I’ve been scoping James out and James is doing the same in return.

“The cops are coming around your place more often too and they’ve been poking around your family home, looking through the garbage. A few tags on the station’s search engine too.”

“They’re not going to give up, are they?” It’s not really a question. The leather of the seat groans as I lay my head back.

“They just need one thing to pin it on you.”

“James has the evidence they’d need to do it.” The photos come to mind and anxiousness makes my chest tighten. I’m waking up to heart palpitations and I’m constantly exhausted, but not able to sleep. My right leg rocks from side to side as Mason speaks.

“We can wipe them from his computer, but the hard copies will have to wait until tomorrow. My associate will ensure the place is clean, but then he’ll know.”

“That works. Whatever it costs.”

“It takes time to get a batch of drugs that matches,” Mason says and I know it’s not about the money. It’s about the time and executing it correctly.

“It would have been easier if we’d found it on him,” I say, stating the obvious.

“Yeah, it would have,” he agrees and then it’s quiet.

“I’m failing. All this money paying other people to do shit and we’re coming up empty.”

“You’re doing everything you can.”

I can’t stand the waiting anymore. “I want this over with,” I confide in him. A couple days turned into a week. And now the weeks are bleeding into one another.

“I’m walking around this city,” I tell him, “stalking a man who should be dead. Ineedto do something.” It’s killing me towait, driving me fucking crazy. I can practically feel my sanity slipping away.

“You have to be careful when you … take care of someone,” he says as if I’m being impatient. “If you’re reckless, you get caught.

“Besides, I don’t have anything on James. Not a shred of evidence that shows he purchased the fentanyl.”

“We need evidence or to set him up if there isn’t any. Or we can just murder him and end it all.” The thought has been festering in the back of my skull. Picking away at me. I just want to kill the fucker and be done with this.

“You kill him before it’s ready, and the cops will be looking for his murderer. Is that what you want?”

I know he’s right, and I can’t answer. I respond with the only thing that matters. “I need my wife back.”

“That’s the other thing,” he tells me while looking out his window.

“What thing?” I question, a deep groove settling down the center of my brow as I stare at the back of his head, willing him to look at me. “About my wife?”

“She’s seeing someone,” he answers and it’s like white noise.

“You’re wrong.” Time slows. She isn’t. There’s no way she’s seeing someone.

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