Page 181 of Sins & Secrets

I must still love Evan, because knowing he’s in trouble twists me up inside.

It was the sign I was looking for, though. The one that drove the nail in the coffin to my marriage. It’s really over. He’s only in holding, so there’s no way for me to get him out of this, but if there was, I’d bail him out and hand over divorce papers the moment we were out of the precinct.

“Mrs. Thompson,” the cop says as I traipse up the stone steps.

“Hello,” I respond awkwardly, not wanting to look her in the eyes as shame creeps up and makes the cold air feel even colder.

“I’m Detective Nicoli,” the woman says and I nod my head, feeling the pinch from the grocery bags digging even deeper into my forearms as I shift on my feet.

“How can I help you, Detective?” I force myself to straighten my shoulders, pretending I have no idea why she’s here.

“Could I come in?” she asks me as if I’d let her.

“I’d rather not,” I answer, my voice a bit harsh. I struggle with the bags slightly, hearing them crinkle as I let out a low sigh. “It’s been a long few days and I don’t want company.”

“The bags under your eyes could have told me that,” she says with no sympathy in her tone.

I huff out a humorless laugh and tell her thanks, theSlingering, intending to walk right by her and into the townhouse, but then she adds, “I’m sorry for what you’re going through.”

With that, I hesitate.

I stand there, taking the sympathy. More than that, I need it. Tears burn my eyes as I look back at her. “What do you want?”

“It might be better for you if I could come in,” she suggests, looking pointedly at the bags on my arms.

I shake my head. That’s not happening.

The charge will be murder if the papers are telling the truth.

I’m not interested in hearing from anyone other than my husband. He hasn’t been formally charged yet, but for it to be in the papers, there’s a fifty-fifty chance they have enough to arrest him as far as I can tell, and I’ll be damned if I let her inside, and … More shame consumes me at the thought of making sure I don’t give them any evidence that could help convict him. As if he really did it. There’s no way he did. My husband’s not a murderer.

“Ask me whatever you’d like, Detective, but make it quick.”

“I know you two are getting a divorce,” she says and the article from two days ago flashes in my memory. “I’m sure you’ve heard he’s going to be charged with murder, given your position in the social circles around here.”

A deep inhale of the frigid fall air chills my lungs to the point that it’s painful. The article was all about how Evan lost his job, his wife, and now he’s about to be charged with murder. My heart thuds dully just the same it did when I first read it, as if it’s lifeless.

“I wanted to know if you had any information that you’d like to give us,” Detective Nicoli says and I shake my head, not trusting myself to speak.

“Look, I know this is hard, but anything at all you can give us would be appreciated.”

I stare straight into her eyes and I hope she feels all the hatred in my gaze. He’s not a murderer. I don’t care what they think.

“I don’t have anything I’d like to tell you other than that these bags are heavy.”

The detective frowns. “If we have to get a warrant and search your place, it’s not going to be pleasant for you.” She softens her voice and adds, “I’m just trying to spare you that.”

I’m not stupid and her good cop routine isn’t going to work on me.

I’ve had to talk to cops before, years ago. I never said a word. I’m sure as hell not going to now.

“Did you know Tony Lewis?” she asks, and I shake my head. Again, not wanting to speak, but she waits for me to confirm it out loud. The pen in her hand is pressed to the pad as she stands there expectantly.

“Never met him.”

“Do you know where your husband would go to acquire cocaine?”

My expression turns hard as I tell her, “My husband doesn’t do coke.”Any morealmost slips out. He’s done it before. He’s done a lot of shit that I’m ashamed of, but that was before me.Before us.For a moment, I question it. Just one small moment. But then it passes as quickly as it came.

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