Page 18 of Sins & Secrets

Nope, only three, I type back just to give her something to laugh about. She deserves it. Without all these messages and prodding, I’m not sure how I would have handled this on my own.

I click over to the other message and my heart does an odd flip in my chest when I see who it’s from. Like it can’t function for just a moment. Maybe it’s the shock and disbelief, or maybe it’s fear? I’m not sure, but either way, I’m struck by the fact that Mason messaged me at all. I was sure that sneaking out would have sealed the deal between the two of us. It was a one-time thing. One I’m grateful for and content with. I knew what I was getting when I went into the arrangement.

I wasn’t sure if I should leave my phone number. I imagine he was relieved to find his drunken one-night stand gone and I didn’t want him to feel obligated to call me.

At the same time, I hoped he would.

Not because of him. It’s not that I’m clinging to having a relationship at all. I just … I liked the way he made me … I don’t know what the right word is. The way nothing else mattered when I was with him. How it all slipped away and I didn’t have to focus on anything but him. Mostly because he was only focused on me.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting more of that, is there? I bite down on my bottom lip and read the message.

It’s not not a hello or an admonishment for leaving him.

I want to see you again. Blue Hill at 8 p.m. tonight.

My lashes flutter a few times as I reread the message. How very presumptuous. As if I have nothing better to do than meet up with him.

I don’t, if I’m being honest with myself. I haven’t got a single thing to do other than write, which I fell into earlier and loved every second. I lose a little bit of the fight in me at the thought that I am available tonight, but still. This isn’t happening like this. I’m not a booty call or whatever he’s used to.

I look down at the message again and the second readthrough only pisses me off.

Maybe I want a good lay too, and by maybe, I mean I really do need it, but I’m not a call girl and I don’t want to be treated like one. Last night was something out of my realm.

Sorry.Busy.I type in the words and hit send without even thinking, letting my high and mighty attitude lead me. But as soon as the message pops up on the screen, I wish I could take it back.

My eyes close and my head falls back as I groan in aggravation. I should have just said yes. I mean after all, aren’t I using him too? I’m so busy staring at the ceiling and cursing myself that when my phone pings in my hand, I jump slightly.

Are you busy now?

A second passes and then another. Is he toying with me? I think he is. I can just imagine the teasing way he would say it. Like he knows exactly why I responded I did. I smirk and bite the inside of my cheek as I text back.

Maybe I am.

His response is immediate.No you aren’t and I want to see you. Blue Hill at 8 p.m.

My shoulders stiffen and I can’t help but feel like this is some kind of battle of wills. And I have no intention of losing.

I said I was busy.

I wait for his response, a deep crease settling in between my brows.

There’s no immediate message back and I start to question my position. I don’t want to be alone tonight. I know it’s pathetic but I’m so tired of being lonely, lying in bed at night, staring at the other half of the bed where my husband used to sleep.

Maybe I need to take a step back and think this through. Dating isn’t exactly an expertise of mine. Neither is hooking up. With a heavy heart I reread the messages and try not to overthink it all, but I’m sure that’s exactly what I’m doing.

I contemplate messaging the girls in our group text when minutes go by and I don’t hear from Mason. A lot of pride lives in me, but not when it comes to this. I’m out of my element.

Tossing my phone down, I decide it’s probably for the best that I don’t see Mason tonight anyway. I’ve never been alone before and I’m too tempted to cling to him already and overanalyze it all. Pushing my hair back, I wonder if I should try to convince Sue to go out tonight. I’m sure she would if only I asked. Any of the girls would and I love them for it.

The phone pings against the porcelain and I’m quick to read what he’s said.

You win. Just tell me when. I’m available for you.

The smile on my face isn’t stopped by my teeth sinking into my lip and I sway slightly as I compose my response. The warmth that spreads through me is addictive. It makes me a little too happy, but I’m too caught in the moment to overthink anything else right now.

MASON

“So, who is she?” Liam asks from his office as I’m on my way out. He leans out the doorway, both hands on the doorframe as he smirks at me.

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