Page 143 of Sins & Secrets

My initial reaction is to bite back that he’s wrong. That he has no idea what’s going on. But it wouldn’t matter.

I nod my head and let the strap from the bag fall off my shoulder. “Yeah, I know.”

“You need to make this right,” he tells me, holding my gaze and pointing a finger at me.

I swallow thickly, knowing he’s right. But I haven’t got a clue how to make this better. I can’t take back what’s been done.

I’m fucked.

“Yeah, I know.”

KAT

Just get it over with,

Tell me that we’re done.

Leave me to this madness,

I accept that you have won.

You’ve broken me to pieces,

Left me numb and blind.

Made me only yours?—

I’ve completely lost my mind.

“Ineed a distraction, that’s what I need.” I speak the words on my mind without realizing it. It gets the attention of both Maddie and Jules and that’s when I realize I’ve said anything at all. Cue swallowing down another sip of wine.

We’ve been here in Jules’s house helping her unpack for at least two hours now, and everyone’s been kind enough to not onlynotask about what’s going on between Evan and me, but to not treat me like I’m some wounded animal either.

That’s what friends are for, although the girls do seem to be walking on eggshells around me. I’m grateful, but I need to talk and have someone sift through this mess and give me a straight answer as to what I should do.

I roll my eyes at the thought. I’m a grown woman. I should know what to do and make the decision with certainty. But I’ve never felt so uncertain in my life.

“A distraction?” Jules questions, a little more pep in her tone than she’s had all night.

“That makes sense,” Maddie says and nods her head as she takes out a picture frame, wrapped in thick brown packing paper. She’s careful with it as she removes the wrapping and exposes the pristine silver frame. “Distractions are a good thing,” she adds with a small nod. “Sometimes.”

I don’t know what photo is already nestled inside of the frame, but whatever it is, it makes her smile. I can only imagine it’s a wedding photo … I lift the glass to my lips again.

“I can’t go home to the townhouse with all his things and our things and every reminder of everything …” Pausing to take in a lungful of air, I try to steady myself then add, “Let alone go to sleep in the same bed we’ve had together for forever.”

I stare at the artwork centered over Julia’s fireplace as I talk.

The crinkling of the packaging paper is all the response I get from the other side of the expansive room. It’s so loud that I’m not sure anyone but Maddie even heard me. We’ve been working in relative silence save for the soft sound of music flowing from the kitchen behind us.

“We should go on a girls’ trip,” I offer up and look over my shoulder at Maddie. I shift in my seat and wait for her to meet my gaze.

“Hell yeah,” she answers without hesitation. “What does the newlywed think?” Maddie asks and instantly Jules brightens.

She shrugs as if the wordnewlyweddidn’t make her day and puts the attention back on me as she says, “I’m happy to do whatever you want, Kat.” I hate that Jules is holding back. Every response from her tonight seems muted. She’s happy and she knows I’m not. She’s a newlywed and my marriage is falling apart.

I get it, but she should be happy. She doesn’t have to hold back her joy because I’m falling apart.

“You’re glowing,” I tell her and wait for a response to the compliment, feeling guilty that I haven’t said it sooner. My chest feels tight and I shift into a cross-legged position on the plush carpet as I grab a plastic bottle of water, drinking it down slowly even though it’s room temperature now. The sweeping room of this new build is ridiculous. The entire house still smells of fresh paint. I can imagine they spent several million on it and the movers did most of the work carrying in all the heavy furniture. Jules didn’t trust them with these boxes, though.

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