Page 118 of Sins & Secrets

Maddie nods her head in agreement. “Just because you’re fighting over something that happened before this doesn’t mean anything.” Her voice is firm. “He needs you.”

And I need him. We always have, both in our own way.

All three of us turn our heads to the door as I hear it open with a loud thud. My heart hammers in my chest, pounding harder and harder as I see him. Mason.

The breath leaves my lungs and I nearly fall off the stool at the sight of him.

He doesn’t look at me or even in this direction as he closes the door and tucks the keycard into his pocket. He slips off his boots easily, as if he belongs here and it’s only natural.

As if he hadn’t kept me waiting here for him for hours.

When he finally looks up, something breaks in me. The walls crumble, and I want to run to him. To climb off the stool and embrace him.

To thank him for taking the fall. For protecting me. For loving me even if he brought all this hell along with him. To check him over and make sure he’s okay.

But I’m frozen in place. Paralyzed by the sight of him. He rolls his broad shoulders before tossing the jacket over the sofa and finally looking up at me. His steel gray eyes pierce through me, questioning only for a moment before turning his attention to the other two women.

Kat’s hand squeezes mine briefly before she whispers, “Do you want us to get out of here?”

“Yeah,” Maddie answers for me. “We’ll see you tomorrow?” Maddie asks with wide eyes.

I nod my head, but still I can’t speak. I can’t answer either of them. He’s here. All I can do is be thankful that he’s here.

He’s standing right there, only inches away from me. I can still feel the coldness from the outdoors around him. But it doesn’t belong to him in the least. His tanned skin is pink on his cheeks and the tip of his nose. My fingers itch to reach out to him, to touch him and pass the chill of the air and feel his hot skin.

I’m vaguely aware of Kat and Maddie leaving, the sounds of keys jingling and each saying hello and then goodbye to Mason.

He gives them a tight smile and nods, his deep voice sending a soothing wave through me as he shoves his hands in his pockets and watches them leave.

As soon as the door shuts, he looks back at me, consuming me the way he does with his full attention as comes to the bar, close to me. Close enough to touch.

I lick my lips and scoot forward on the stool, my left knee brushing his right. “Mason,” I say, whispering his name with a reverence I’m not sure he hears or recognizes, but his eyes look the same way they did months ago when I first left him. Raw and vulnerable. Emotional.

He can hide a lot of things from me, and I won’t deny that because it’s the absolute truth. But I can see the pain and love in his gaze when he looks at me like this.

I know that’s real. He can’t ever hide that from me.

“Jules,” he says and Mason’s voice is low. Too low. Panic drifts into my veins. It courses through me as he reaches out to run his fingers down my hair before resting his large hand on my thigh. His thumb runs back and forth in soothing strokes, but there’s something about the way he’s looking at me, something off about his body language. Something I don’t like.

“I never should have put you through all this, Jules.”

My heart clenches, feeling so constricted that I can’t fathom the amount of pain I’m feeling. He’s letting me go. He gave me hope, walking through the door.No! No! Go back to the hope. We have hope. We don’t have everything but we have hope, don’t we?The words tangle over themselves in the back of my throat.

“I never should have,” he says then swallows before continuing, “I never should have killed him. I’m sorry.” All I can do is shake my head slightly as I listen to Mason. It was amistake, an unforgivable sin. An act that ruined my life. But he had his reasons. I can’t deny that it was wrong, but so much was wrong. The pieces fell, and there was blood on everyone’s hands.

“I was a different man then. I didn’t know you yet, and I can’t ever take it back.” Mason pulls his hand away, and the warmth and comfort of his touch vanishes, replaced by a sudden chill.

“I fell in love with you and I’d do anything to keep you, but I know you don’t want that.

I hate myself as much as you hate me.”

He starts to turn away from me. To leave me like I’ve wanted since I learned the truth, but my body comes to life, my blood a mix of anxiety and depression. I grip Mason’s hand as I stumble off the stool, the damn thing nearly toppling over.

“Don’t you dare leave me,” I say. My voice comes out raw as tears threaten to spill from my eyes. I refuse to take my hands from his wipe under my eyes.

Never.

He’s as much mine as I am his. I refuse to let him go.

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