I can do that. Just one last lie, once more. To protect her.
I swear it’ll be the last. And only so I can hold on to her and keep her safe.
“Kat, I don’t know a thing about the coke overdose or James or whatever the hell anyone’s told you.”
“You said you needed an alibi,” Kat states evenly. She blows a few strands of hair away from her face and then folds her arms over her chest once again.
My stomach sinks as I give her just a little bit of the truth. Just enough that she’ll stop questioning me. “This is why. I knew Tony was dead, but I wasn’t involved.”Lie.I can barely stand on my own two feet knowing I just lied to her.
“Why an alibi?”
“To save the company’s image. We couldn’t be associated with it any more than we already were.” It’s only a thinly veiled lie. What I’ve said is mostly true.
Kat nods her head, putting a finger to her lips and letting the words sink in as she stares at the floor.
“So, you gave him the coke?” she asks before lifting her head and her eyes flash to mine.
“No,” I tell her and my voice is hard.Lie. Another lie.I’m digging my own grave deeper. I add in a truth, hoping it sounds believable enough to cover the lies. “I told you I don’t do that shit.”
“They’re going to test you,” Kat says like she doesn’t believe me.
“I’ll have them show you the results if and when they do,” I say, and my words come out bitter.
She turns her back to me again as she fills the glass with more water. I stalk closer to her, careful not to piss her off.
“I mean it. I promise you. It was just a job and I barely drank, Kat. I quit for a reason. It didn’t use to be like this and it’s gotten to me.”
She doesn’t look at me as I come closer, close enough to touch her, but I don’t.
“I did drink with clients, but that’s it. I swear to you. I wouldn’t touch that shit or anything like it.”
She sets the clear glass down and then looks at me as she says, “Tony did.” She walks past me, brushing her shoulder against mine.
“I quit for a reason,” I tell her again and my tone begs her to listen. To forgive me. “I didn’t do anything, and if anyone in the world would believe me, it would be you.” My voice croaks on the last word and I have to swallow my plea.
“I believe you,” Kat replies instantly, hating that she’s causing me pain. This is why she’s too good for me, but I’ll be damned if I’m not going to do everything I can to keep her.
“No secrets?” she asks and there’s a change in her expression.
I shake my head no, although I feel like a fucking coward. “No secrets.”
“I have one,” she whispers softly.
“What’s that?” I ask her, sensing the air changing between us, darkening and chilling.
“I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow,” she tells me and her eyes flicker to me, right before darting to the floor. She can’t look at me and that makes me more nervous than anything else.
“The doctor’s? Are you all right?” I ask her, my voice low, the memories of my mother filtering in. I take one step toward her and wait for her to move back, but she doesn’t.
She shrugs and stares at the countertop.
“What’s going on, Kat?” I ask her, listening to my heart beat hard then harder still as she makes me wait.
Her forehead scrunches the way it does just before she cries and I chance another step closer to her. I can feel the heat from her body as she sniffles and looks away from me.
“It’s okay,” I whisper. I reach out to her, praying she lets me hold her, and she does. Her shoulders are stiff at first, but she gives in and I say a silent prayer, thanking God for it. Her soft curves are warm in my embrace and I’m quick to kiss the crown of her head. The smell of her shampoo and every little detail about her is comforting. This is my drug. She’s my only addiction.
“Baby, it’s okay,” I tell her as I pull her small body snugger into my arms. I needed this. I hold her as close as I can, rocking her slightly and loving how she grips me right back.